So Sad
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| Sat, 01-15-2005 - 11:15am |
I'm so unhappy the way my life is going. I have been depressed over one aspect of my life that is not getting any better. I'm divorced, mother of 2. Problem is my kids just don't want to live with me. They are 5 and 7. They have so many things "luring" them over to their dad's. It is so much fun over there, I can't compete. His new girlfriend has 2 kids their ages so they have built in playmates as well. It's like pulling teeth to get the kids back after seeing their dad.
This situation has me so depressed. The kids CONSTANTLY tell me they want to go to daddy's. If i could just change this one aspect of my life things will be ok. It just never gets better though.
Since they have the built in friends over there I don't have a chance anymore. They kind of lost touch with the playmates they had in my neighborhood.
The kids just don't want to live here anymore no matter what I do. I've tried making it fun here, etc. I've tried to "compete" with the ex, but no matter how hard I try they don't want to be with me.
I feel like I'm dragging them back after each visit with their dad. They are there EVERY weekend so it's not like they never see him.
This weekend I'm extremely depressed. The kids are with me on a weekend for the first time in the last 6 weeks. They don't want to be here. Ever since they got off the bus yesterday it's been constant "I want daddy." I tried taking them out last night with my family, out to eat and them we went shopping. They kept making comments they wanted to be at their dad's.
It has been this way for about 2 yrs now. It's wearing me down. I used to be able to just brush it off and go out and do something fun with the kids. Now it's got me to the point i'm almost non functional. I can see my kids living at his house soon. I don't want it to be this way.
I don't know how to fix this and make life better. I'm slowly losing my kids.

anyway, instead of them talking about what they do at their dad's, could you change your activities and interaction with them to make them talk to him about what they do with you? buy or borrow some games that you can do together. go on the net and see if you can find some low cost ideas or things you can make or do with them. play word games or 'i spy'. we play a game when we are travelling with them: find two of the same number or letter on a license plate, or different states than where you live.
try to make them change their mind about you and what you do together, then maybe they won't focus so much on dad. moms are important too!! tell them you love them LOTS!! and how much you would miss them if they lived with dad all the time.
just some ideas, hope it helps, Stephanie
My 7 yr old has been saying she wants to go to daddy's since she got off the bus yesterday. She was talking about it this morning so I decided I would take her and a friend out to see a movie. We had fun, then as soon as we dropped the friend off my 7 yr old said "I knew we should have went to daddy's." Honestly I'm starting to resent her in a way. I'm bending over backward to make these kids happy.
My 5 yr old isn't too bad about all this. It would be a sad thing if I just had enough of all this and just let the 7 yr old stay over there. I know it wouldn't be best, yeah she would live in a nice house, etc, but daddy isn't home much and she would basically be raised by the soon to be stepmom.