Way down (triggers)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Way down (triggers)
7
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 4:21pm

I'm in another downward spiral that I can't seem to stop.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 5:49pm
have you ever read what someone else thought of as bad and seen that it is actually good? when i was reading about all of your guy friends, i was so envious. it just shows what a great person you are that you have all of these people that want to be around you for YOU- if they aren't trying anything and that isn't what the relationship is about then you know that they really like who you are and they are choosing to be in a friendship with you. i think that is a good thing. i haven't had many guys in my life lately who wanted to be my friend, and it makes me sad. i am sorry that you are feeling so icky about yourself- i think you are wonderful if that helps! i know when it comes to weight loss there are setback times- and you have had your share of stress- have you ever tried when you have the bad feelings that make you eat to take the bad energy and get it out instead- like go and work out? i was feeling icky about myself the other day and i didn't know what to do with that icky energy- so i went to my stairwell- jogged down to my gym and worked out and i felt so much better. don't know if that helps for you, but just a thought. i can imagine how much going to ireland would mean to you- i say keep saving and getting excited about the trip and go no matter what. tell your friend that it is your dream trip and you have money constraints so you really need to just do it your own way and if she's up for doing it that way, cool and if not, maybe you guys can go on the next trip together. feel better. take care of you and don't let the world's stresses get you down!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 6:20pm
(((Mary)))Sounds like you need a lot of hugs too! I'm sorry your Christmas was so rotten. I know the situation at work has been hard on you too. I'm glad your job is safe tho. This way you can take your time while you look for another.
Don't despair about your weight. You were doing great and just because you got sidelined for a while doesn't mean you can't get back on track. I gained 3 pounds recently---not over the holidays---but since I've been back to work. Stress eating at it's worst!!
As for not having had an SO for so long----I think the plan is for you to go to Ireland and meet your true love there. Sound good?
Debbie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 7:53pm

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Mary)))))))))))))))))))))))))


I can't say much about all the things you are dealing with too, but I do have a bunch of hugs and a lot of prayers for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 8:48pm

Same here, Mary...I'll keep you in my thoughts. You have made it so far even just this year, as hard as it may be to see right now...you can make it through this too. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a hard time...hang in there, and keep focused on the things that you love--keep planning your trip to Ireland, working on your romance novel, and listening to that great music--and I know things will turn around for you.

Hugs,

Rose

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 4:07am

Mary: I wish I could read your mind to see IF you just wanted to vent, or did you want some possible suggestions, so alas, I thought about this yesterday when I read your post, and just now so don't read any further IF you want no suggestions, but just trying to think, OK, I have and are a stress eater, and what would my therapist tell me to do if I was you?

OK, the great thing about your situation is you aren't stuck to that area at all, you could find a different job and move anywhere, you don't have a house to sell, an apartment lease to break, no husband or kids that would preclude you from moving, so you could go anywhere, that is a blessing some of us on the board that would look for a job don't have.

I knew a lady years ago that wanted some extra cash and she got a second job to make some extra money, just a cashier at a store so they were able to give her flexible hours, just a suggestion.

I met my husband through a newspaper personal ad 20 years ago, and it sure worked out for me.

If you find the structure of wt watchers isn't enough to help you deal with your stress eating, talk to your therapist please, maybe something like overeaters anonymous, or I can't remember once if you shared there was alcohol abuse with anyone in your past, but if there was ,there is always alanon as maybe there is feelings or how you deal with things that were caused by someone's drinking way back then. I can't begin to say how much alanon has helped me and here the alcoholic dad in my life has been dead since 1993, I can't praise it enough.

And I know you love to write, but writing a romance novel maybe stirring all those feelings up inside, so maybe your therapist can help you settle those thoughts down when you quit writing on a certain chapter.

I know my therapist and I talk about everyting, from soup to nuts, from my job, my eating for the wrong reasons, even sex and the addictive ways I have used to deal with things before. She is so adamant on having several support people in your life and as hard as it is for me to reach out, she is so right on that too.

PLEASE know all I wrote above was because I care for you, and I have abused food since early childhood, without my food binging I probably would have tried suicide again and I wouldn't even be alive.

take care of yourself, love, Josie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 8:19pm

Big hugs to you Mary. I'm sorry everything is up in the air for you, hope things get better for you soon. always thinking about ya. ((((HUGS))))

Donna

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 8:57pm
Why won't anyone think of you as a sweetheart at your size? People come in all different sizes, and I'm sure that you can find a great man who loves both who you are and what you look like.