Aftermath of a suicide attempt
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Aftermath of a suicide attempt
| Sun, 01-16-2005 - 11:29pm |
Hi everyone,
I haven't been to this website for nearly three years. I thought my depression was under control. I was on medication and doing the "behavorial" modifications to help keep my life on track. Right after New Years I crashed hard and had the lowest low I've ever had (in my 10+ years battling depression). On the 3rd I overdosed on pills and wound up in the hospital the following day. I spent a week in the hospital and now I'm out and staying with my mom until I get back on my feet. I found a psychiatrist and therapist, and now I'm back on different meds. I don't know what to do with myself when my one therapy session a week is through. There are six other days to survive, and that's a lot of time to keep myself busy. I'm going to try and go back to work towards the end of next week. I still haven't dealt with my suicide attempt, and have done everything in my power to just cope and get through the days. I'm feeling better, but I know that emotionally I've stuffed it all down - not good for depression. What do people do when they are dealing with depression? I've been to so many websites and found lots of support for people who have lost loved ones to suicide, or for people in immediate crisis. What happens after the "crisis" has passed?
Thanks.
Daisy
I haven't been to this website for nearly three years. I thought my depression was under control. I was on medication and doing the "behavorial" modifications to help keep my life on track. Right after New Years I crashed hard and had the lowest low I've ever had (in my 10+ years battling depression). On the 3rd I overdosed on pills and wound up in the hospital the following day. I spent a week in the hospital and now I'm out and staying with my mom until I get back on my feet. I found a psychiatrist and therapist, and now I'm back on different meds. I don't know what to do with myself when my one therapy session a week is through. There are six other days to survive, and that's a lot of time to keep myself busy. I'm going to try and go back to work towards the end of next week. I still haven't dealt with my suicide attempt, and have done everything in my power to just cope and get through the days. I'm feeling better, but I know that emotionally I've stuffed it all down - not good for depression. What do people do when they are dealing with depression? I've been to so many websites and found lots of support for people who have lost loved ones to suicide, or for people in immediate crisis. What happens after the "crisis" has passed?
Thanks.
Daisy

(((HUGS)))
~leslie
Daisycb,
Maybe it would help you to start a journal, too, to journal your thoughts, fears, desires, etc. I know this helps me, because it gets out my emotions, and I can "close the book" in a sense on the way I am feeling and let it go. This has truly helped me, and I highly recommend it.
I am manic depressive and find that silly things help me through my down times - When I feel really down, I rent DVDs of Saturday Night Live and laugh my ass off until I forget that I wanted to cry. Or I watch a really stupid movie like "Dude where's my car" or "Dumb and Dumber" and giggle and smile. For me, the best medicine has been laughter, because it makes me forget the world for a while.
When you have down times, FORCE yourself to laugh or think of something REALLY funny. I'm serious. I know it sounds stupid, but it gets me through the toughest of moments. I have actually been in my car before with the garage door closed and the engine running, on the verge of suicide, and I farted, laughed, and made myself laugh so hard that I changed my mind about wanting to leave this world.
I don't mean to get too personal, but do you belong to a church in your area? I am not some hard-core religious freak or anything, and I'm not trying to pressure you or convert you, but you could give a church a try. I was raised atheist and somehow married a believer in god, and now go to what is called a "community" church. I don't agree with everything that they tell me, and I don't get majorly into it, and I don't speak in tongues, but I love the positivity and the fellowship. All I know is, it keeps me from wanting to end my life, and that makes it worth doing, for me. It is amazing what the man in the sky can do to change your life if you take your burdens to him. We can talk more if you are interested.
I wish you all the best, and even though we don't know eachother, I am glad you are a part of the world, and I care about you. Know that you are loved and cared for by those around you and that they need you here in the world with them. You are uniquely you and special for that reason. We don't always understand life, but we are here to live it and live it fully. Always seek happiness and sadness will have no choice but to cease to exist in your mind!
By the way, do you have a pet? If not, you should get one. My dog is my best buddy when I am down. I can talk to him and he doesn't talk back, he just listens. :) He never does me wrong.
Hi,
I too have suffered from depression for many years. I so understand what you are going through. I thought you got some pretty great advise from the other ladies. I do think journaling helps. Also, try and make yourself go out and do something when you are feeling bad. Sometimes a change of scene can help. (I love going to the bookstore.) I also think you should try and get some exercise every day.
Please be gentle with yourself. None of us have all the answers. Hopefully, your new medication will provide some relief. Keep us posted!!
S/A
Hi Daisy~
I understand what it is like after the crisis is over. I attempted suicide 7 months ago. I have suffered from depression for many years, but only started meds about a year ago. They helped, but I wasn't seeing a therapist for my depression. I was seeing a marriage counselor with my husband, but that wasn't tackling the issues that needed to be addressed. I was unhappy in my marriage, my husband wasn't supportive or understanding, and I crashed hard. I spent a week in the hospital as well and when I got out I continued with outpatient therapy (a partial hospitalization program that I went to 5 days a week from 9am to 3pm for 2 weeks). For me, I had to find a purpose for my life, I had to take control and realize that I can change my situation, that I didn't have to keep living the way I was living- miserable. One of the best pieces of advice I ever received during my recovery was that you have to take care of yourself because if you don't you are of no use to anyone. You are in control of your life- no one else. Once that "clicked" with me I changed my life around completely. I separated from my husband, got my own apartment, went back to work, and started rebuilding my life. I promised myself I would never go back to that dark place again. And so far I haven't. I'm not saying it has been easy because it certainly hasn't. But I found that if I keep myself busy with things I enjoy, continue seeing my therapist, and just remember to take it one day at a time, it gets easier. I am good to myself, relay on my support system, use my "tools" and I pull throught the tought times.
I still think about that day- it scares the crap out of me. I don't want to ever be that low again and that's really what keeps me going. I found my reason for why I want to be alive- you have to find yours. If you ever want to talk off the board, please feel free to e-mail me directly at kbaraz@comcast.net. Take care of yourself- you deserve it.
Hugs,
Karen
Karen
~Fake it 'til you make it~
Nice job with the support and suggestions!
I'm glad you're in this world. Am so happy that you can pass on what works for you. It's so easy to get caught up in the swings and get lost. Good job in pulling yourself to an even level.
I'm new to this board. Just dropped in to see what was being said. This is my occupation; so, can't join in. Wouldn't be fair...besides who says I have all the answers anyway!!!
(((senorita)))
Hi Daisy,
>>>What happens after the "crisis" has passed?<<<
You take things one day at a time, or one hour at a time, if need be. Life can be so worth the challenges we face. And let me say that I'm glad that you are still here to make this post.
I've, thankfully, never had a suicide attempt. Although I have thought about it in the past. I really tried to focus on what was good in my life, and some days that was simply enjoying the fact it was cloudy out. I even started a seperate journal in order to write down things that happened each and every day that brought a smile to my face, so on the days that were difficult, I could go back and realize that good things do happen.
I wish you much success in dealing with your depression, and keep posting.
Brightest Blessings,
Annika
Brightest Blessings, Annika
I feel for you--I tried to commit suicide two years ago and I am finally at a place in my life where I can thank god I wasn't successful. If I had been I wouldn't have found my true love, gottne married, experienced the joy of being an aunt, been there for my friends when they needed me...you get the point.
I'm not saying everything is just great, I still have my days (sometimes even weeks), but knowing that there is something to look forward to--whether it be seeing a smile on your Mom's face, riding a bike, reading that book you always wanted to--there is always something or someone to hold on to.
Just by posting this message, you have shown that you have hope and are very brave--embrace these emotions when you are down. Love yourself. You have been given a second chance.
Best of luck!
Laura <ltprovost@hotmail.com>
Where are you daisy?
We miss you!