Conflict between friend & boyfriend

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Conflict between friend & boyfriend
2
Tue, 01-18-2005 - 11:09am

I'm having a conflict between one of my friends and my boyfriend. Well, it's not really between them - it's more like me having to always choose between them. My friend lives next door to me in our dorm, and I enjoy her company, but I don't really feel that we are that close because she is very religious and conservative, and I'm pretty liberal and not religious at all. I don't have a problem with her expressing herself to me, but I can't express how I'm really feeling about things to her because she gets offended. She hates swearing (even words like crap), certain types of clothing, and any kind of references to intimate relations between a girl and a guy. It bothers me that she can't accept me how I am, so I don't really feel that we are close friends.

Anyway, I leave campus to visit my boyfriend every weekend because I can act more normally around him than I can with her. I can talk to him about anything that I want and basically just be myself. My friend wants me to stay on campus some weekends to hang out with her. I don't really think it's fair because I hang out with her all week. We go to meals together in the dining hall, eat snacks together, watch movies together, etc. I want the weekends to spend with my boyfriend because I don't get to see him during the week.

Am I being unfair by spending every weekend with my boyfriend?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 10:54am

I certainly don't think you are being unfair to want to spend the weekends with your boyfriend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 9:12am
Hi there. I dont think you are being unfair at all, actually I think your friend is being unfair. She doesnt make a lot of sense to me because you have your own life and you should do whatever you want. You shouldnt spend time with her just because she wants you to. Its just the way your life is: you are around during the week and go away for weekends. If she has a problem with that, well its just her problem. I dont think she is a very good friend if she doesnt want you to spend your spare time with others. I hope this helps. Take care!