Very unhappy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
Very unhappy
5
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 10:54pm
Hello everyone. I am new, and I don't know if I am even posting in the right place, so forgive me :) I have been so down about myself for the last few months. I am 27 years old, and I live with my boyfriend of 1 1/2 years. I was working as a bartender and finally making enough money to try to get finances caught up(I always have financial difficulties) but my bar was shut down, so my finances have fallen again, wich makes my BF upset, because I struggle with bills. I don't know what I want to do with my life, I don't have any money to do anything for myself, I can't go back to school, I put on weight, and I have a job that I don't really like. I am just unhappy all the time, so BF & I fight alot. I just want to sit home on the computer or sleep, but I am so overwhelmed and stressed that I can't sleep, or eat. I really feel like I have no one to help me, and that the BF doesnt even care. I started eating better and working out about 2 weeks ago, but the last week I have had to work so much that I am just exhausted and don't want to work out. Ok, I just really wanted to vent for a minute, and maybe get some kind words of encouragement from somone, you all seem so nice here. Sorry this is so long.
-Silver
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 1:54am

Wasn't going to jump in...couldn't help myself.

This is my first night also. Just came to see what was being said.

I think this board (depression support) could be very useful. Not to steal thunder from this board, but I think you would find Health & Fitness Board helpful as well. They're a lot of fun, and there are some wonderful people there, too. I'm a firm believer that exercise helps with depression. It wouldn't hurt for you to be interacting with people with an uplifted spirit, too. I hang out there and at the Diabetes Board.
Talk about depression! January 2004, I was diagnosed with diabetes, and what a shock that was!!! Yep, it even happens to us therapists (so you don't have to read my profile).

It sounds like after the bar closed down you got another job, huh? That's good. Do they have insurance on you? I sure would investigate individual therapy. Maybe a community college course on self-esteem or women's issues would be helpful as well. If your employers doesn't have insurance on you, I'd suggest a sliding scale agency. That's one that goes down in rates to maybe $25 per session. If you don't make much money, how about checking out a county or state agency who can refer you to counseling?

From reading some of the postings, I think some healthy venting is worthwhile and accepted here.

Much luck in finding a happier you. Ok...preaching time...only you can make yourself happy. Don't look for others (ie. BF) to do it for you.

My kitties understand when I'm unhappy...maybe yours would be good listeners, too.

((hugs))

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 9:18am
Hi Silver. I think you posted in the right place. Im so sorry you are going through this. WEll I think what the best thing to do right now is take one day at a time. Just do what you think is good for you in the long run in that day, so that at the end of the day you will feel content with yourself. Take things with moderation. Work out but dont overdo it, etc. As far as $ problems, maybe talking to a financial advisor will help? It will probably cost a few bucks but save you loads in the long run. I suggest you hang on to your current job while you look for something better. If you need more references then volunteering will make your resume look better. Stressful times always effect relationships, so I dont know if thats the only reason your BF and you fight..but I think sitting down and talking it out can possibly help. I hope he is understanding. Take care I hope to see you here again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 7:28pm

Hi Silver and Welcome!


You have found the right place and I hope you stick around and post as much as you like!


Remember each day is a new one and just because you had a set back this week doesnt mean you cant get back on track with exercise and eating right.

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 8:55pm
hi silver. my name is leslie, and i just started posting here earlier this week.
i have dealt with depression and severe anxiety for 6 yrs, give or take a bit. sometimes it gets better, sometimes worse. i know when i'm down, the best thing for me is to try and stay busy, stay focused. i make lists of things i need to accomplish for tomorrow, then mark the tasks off as i get them done. i might not finish, but being able to see how much i really did follow through with helps. i am able to finally shut my brain down at night, quit worrying, and get a bit of rest before starting over.
financially, we have been in a bad place for a while. right when we think it's getting better, something happens! in december, i lost my job over a technicality, a small mistake made daily by everyone - including managers! my direct supervisor just didn't like me, and i'm not the first. she picks a person, works on them till she gets rid of them one way or another, then goes to another person. they lost 5 to this in less than a year. the very day after i got fired, my DH lost his job as well. at the time, i was pregnant and we lost our family health insurance, and we have a son who has a severe medical problem also. this was the week before christmas. somehow, we are making it with DH picking up work here and there. we sit down and budget everything out. exactly how much our bills will add up to and what day they have to be mailed in by, so we can figure how much is left for food and diapers. it's not easy to stick to the budget, but it really helps if you know where all your money is going!
i hope you are able to find some support here and i know there are a lot of good suggestions to be had.
hang in there!
~leslie
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 9:28pm

(((Silver)))) I would say you have come to the right place. You are so sweet to tell us that you think we are nice here. This board is a special place. You are handling a lot right now. So much stress can impact so many things in life. It sounds like you are trying to improve your eating and exercising habits. That can help with depression a lot.

Keep posting to us. Post to others here, sometimes that helps too.

Welcome to the board.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
Take care,
Lisa-)

Co-CL Depression Support Board