Having a crisis today (trigs)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
Having a crisis today (trigs)
4
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 3:46am

I am calmly sitting here typing, but inside I am in an absolute state. My oldest daughter has picked today to behave in an absolutely appalling manner. She has been teasing her sister, being rude to my husband and I, crying at every little thing, particularly when she cannot get her own way. I've tried shouting, a smack, a cuddle and a serious talk, and now I am on to removing her toys one by one each time she misbehaves. I know it sounds trivial, but I just am at my wits end with what to do with her today. She is actually normally a nice kid (and I have been complimented by people on her manners etc before) but she is being horrific. I cannot even begin to describe it.

It is things like this that normally set me off which is why I am concentrating so hard on trying to remain calm.

I feel like a useless mother and blame myself for her behaviour as I am sure that it is my past outbursts that have made her feel that she can act like this. I just don't know what to do.

A good thing is that I don't feel the temptation to go self-harm which is how I sometimes feel (seldom act on) in situations where I feel I have lost control.

I love my daughters but I don't particularly like her at the moment.

Horrible terrible person. I am I am.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 8:03am

Day is just getting worse. Daughter has calmed down but dh is now mad at me and I don't know why. I feel all huffy and upset and I want to cry.

One minute he is complaining that I am ignoring him, and not showing him any affection and I don't need him anymore, and the next he's ignoring me!

*big sigh*

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2004
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 9:30am

Sounds like you need big hugs ((((((mouselet))))). I've never posted on this board but I know where you are coming from. My 12 year is constantly pushing my buttons and I'm at my wits end on what to do with him. He's a special needs kid (bipolar, asperger's syndrome, obsessive/compulsive disorder and ADHD). Doesn't help matters that I have 2 other kids and am currently separated from my H.

Just know your not alone in what you're going through. I'm here if you need to talk/vent.

Take care
PTC

Avatar for svetlana1833
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 11:20am

Ah, children. I don't have any so I can't speak exactly to what you're feeling, but I have heard similar stories from my best girlfriend, who is 36 and has 3 little girls all under the age of 6. She stays home with them all day and sometimes it just flat-out drives her crazy. Her husband bought her yoga classes for Christmas so she could start getting out of the house and do something just for her.

Children are frustrating at times. It's part of their job. They have to challenge you now and again. Plus there's always the possibility that she's coming down with a cold or something and it's making her cranky. Either way, it doesn't have anything to do with you being a good mother or not. She's doing what all kids have done since the beginning of time.

Tomorrow is another day. In the meantime, take care of yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 8:51pm

(((((Mouselet))) You are soooo not a bad mom. You are a loving caring human. Sometimes kids misbehave even with the best of parents. Try and have more patience with her and yourself. We are often our own worst critic.

Please don't feel too bad. I know you are a wonderful mom and person. You are such a supportive part of this board. Thank you for that.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
Take care,
Lisa-)
Co-CL Depression Support