Depression and Memory
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| Fri, 01-28-2005 - 10:05am |
Hi Gang,
I have had quite a year and need some help with my feelings and fears. Let me start by telling you that I cared for my mother with alzheimers and my father with congestive heart failure for four years. I paid their bills...cooked all their food..and also helped with a mentally challenged brother one year older than me. 16 months ago I had a triple bypass. Four weeks following I had to put my mother in a nursing home for a broken hip, rehab, etc. Of course her alzheimers escalated to a terrible degree. I visited daily. My father went in the same nursing homes 6 weeks later for rehab (extrememly feeble)and breathing treatments. My father passed away 2 weeks later. My mother passed away 9 weeks following his death. My brother had an anurysm 5 months later and died. I also had an aunt and uncle that I helped with that both passed away in August.
I was the executor for my parents, cleaned out their home, sold it and settled the estate. That was finalized on December 1, 2004. I now find myself with such a loss feeling. A worry of getting alzheimers overwhelms me sometimes. Every thing I forget such as a name or date I drive myself crazy. I am on depression medicine but I still have such a hard time not fearing the disease and not feeling such a loss of purpose.
Most of the time I hide this fear from my family but I do feel anxious in front of them because I'm afraid I'll forget something and they will think I'm their grandmother all over again.
If any of you have experienced something similar I would love to hear from you and how you overcame it. I can't spent the rest of my life worrying about the disease. I fear I could even create it in me by worrying about it. The doctors tell me it is depression and that all of this will eventually go away with time. I would love to hear from you.
LadyWin

I can only speak for myself, but in periods of stress, I can't remember squat, and I'm only 37. And that's when I'm not particularly depressed! When I'm depressed it's even worse. I locked my keys in the car twice in the matter of a few weeks last year, and I hadn't done that in eons.
You've obviously had a lot on your mind over the last couple of years. Let yourself rest awhile, stay on your meds, and I bet you'll find yourself better.
I too went through a very similar situation. I lost my dad, mom, grandpa, and my brother all in a span of 5 years. I took care of my parents as they both were sick with cancer. It was the most trying time of my life and I have to admit, it still is. I feel so lonely and have a feeling of emptiness a lot. But, on a good note, I can tell you that the anxious feeling you have WILL go away. I worried for a very, very long time about cancer because of what my parents went through. You will get over it and time will heal you so you can think rationally.
Best wishes to you..your not alone. :o)
~Jackie~