Depressed People and Bullies
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 02-03-2005 - 11:54am |
I have suffered from depression since about the age of 9. I am also an extremely sensitive person, especially sensitive to the opinions and attitudes of the people around me. A great many of my friends and acquaintenances over the years have been of the bully or domineering type of personalities. I had the habit of staying in those friends a lot longer than I should have and doing things I normally wouldn't have done to try to impress them and stay in the friendshilp. If you don't have many friends, you tend to hold on to those you have.
Has anyone else experiences this? Do you think depression/sensitivity can attract these personality types? It seems like these types of people can spot their victims rather easily. Do you think this is true also?
Thanks.

Well, I'm not a psychologist, but I will say this. I think depression makes us more sensitive to other people's thoughtlessness, rudeness, unkindness, whatever. And I do agree that we may have a knack for attracting those kind of people sometimes, because they know they can dominate us. Some people have a need to feel "above" others and they can only do this with people who will let them. It's not because depression is a weakness - it's just that when we're depressed, we often don't have the energy to fight back or stand up for ourselves, and bullies can pick up on that.
The main thing you have to tell yourself - and this is a hard one to learn - is that Their Opinions Really Don't Matter. They don't. When you can accept that your OWN opinions are valuable, then you'll attract other people who agree. Your happiness isn't dependent on what someone else thinks of you. It's taken me a LONG time to figure that out, and even longer to put it into action. It ain't easy, but it can be done. :-)