My personal experience
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| Sat, 02-05-2005 - 2:31am |
Hello, I haven't been to these boards in almost 2 years now! WOW!
I used to be on Lexapro. I have long since kicked the medicine to the curb for almost 2 years now! WOO HOO! But anyway....I was really bad. I almost commited suicide a couple times. If it hadn't been for my son being with me the times I had the opportunity to do it I would've probably done it. Sad to say, but it's true. I really hated my life. I was on Celexa for about a year then it just wasn't enough, so the Dr. put me on Lexapro and supplemented with Wellbutrin because my energy was completly non-existent. I was also in weekly counseling with a psychiatrist. I felt the same nausea thing too in the beginning. But I also noticed that I didn't really have any emotions anymore. I was just neutral with it. No ups or downs. I guess that's what it's supposed to do, but to me that just didn't seem like a normal life to me. I also noticed that my sex life was not there at all either. But that could have something to do with my now ex husband. Sex just wasn't that great to begin with. LOL!
Eventually I divorced my husband and started to feel better. (I'm not saying that everyone's husband is the problem, but in my case he was a big reason I was depressed...long story) I had a few episodes after we split just trying to get used to the change, since I did not do well with change while I was handling the depression thing too. I was living with my parents until I could function on my own and hold a job. Once I got started with my own apartment, daycare for my son, and a good paying job I started to feel more confident again. Then I started to wean myself off the medication.
My body reacted not in a good way when I weaned myself. I seriously felt like I was a heroin addict detoxing. I got the chills, shakes, and felt soooo sick to my stomach. I was very ill from it. That was when I did it cold turkey. I then started back up on it and took it slow. I would take half the dose for a week and then half of that dose for a week, and so on. Until I was finally not taking it anymore. It was a rough couple of weeks, and I didn't feel very good and I still got shaky from it. I also noticed when I was on the medication I hardly ate anything. I was 130lbs when I started taking it and I weighed 108lbs when I got off of it!!! It totally curbed my appetite. To some this might be a good thing, but for me it wasn't. I am 5'7" and for me to weigh barely 100lbs was BAD!!
On another note, I was at the Dr's office recently because I was having depression symptoms again....the whole "I just want to sleep all day" thing. That I just didn't have any energy and I am always cold, plus I gained a bit of weight in a short period of time. My doctor ruled out depression which I agree I'm no where near where I was last time, but he did mention that my thyroid is underactive a little. He said it could possibly be from the meds I took when I was depressed. That has me concerned about what else it could have screwed up in my body. I'm generally a "natural" person who doesn't even take aspirin for a headache, or go to the Dr. when I am sick. I usually use herbs or just tough it out.
My advice is to just be careful with that stuff. If you feel like you don't need it anymore I urge you to get off of it. But if you feel you need it then by all means do take it. But another way to help get rid of depression I learned was that I needed to remove the situation that was causing a lot of it. So if you can pin point the cause, then do something to change it. Your life will definetly change for the better! :)
I also did a research project for my human relations class while I was dealing with depression and learned alot on the subject. I did a power point presentation to the school on depression and I captured the audience! I even got an A on the project! But, I urge all of you to go to the library and read as many books as you can about it. You can learn so much about yourself and this disease you are coping with or fighting. But I just want you all to know that there IS light at the end of the tunnel. I am living proof that you CAN beat this disease!! I never thought it was possible 3 years ago, I thought I would be taking medication the rest of my life for it, and look at me now! Drug free, happy, mentally stable and even dating again! :) Just remember that the mind is a powerful thing. Think as positive as you can as much as you can and things will turn around for the better.
Chin up everyone!
Beckie

(((((Beckie))))), I so agree with you!