bad anxiety returning, scared

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
bad anxiety returning, scared
2
Sat, 02-05-2005 - 1:28pm
this is silly, i know i shouldn't be afraid but i am.
as you guys know, i just had my second m/c a few weeks ago and the D&C. by now i should have been healed enough to begin *sexual relations* (LOL) with my DH again. but i had that infection, then the appendectomy last weekend...so it's been prolonged. i expect when i see the dr tuesday he will say i am ok to have sex as long as it doesn't hurt, if it does to stop. that's what i think he'll say. DH has been pressuring me heavily, even before the appendectomy, and he knows we can't but not an hour goes by (if he is home) that he isn't mentioning it or kissing on me. i love having his attention, yes, but i am TERRIFIED of having sex again. silly, i know. i have been with this man 7 1/2 yrs, there is nothing to be scared of. he wouldn't intentionally hurt me, but i am scared i will be hurt, or have an infection, or get pregnant and lose the baby...even though i'm getting ready to start birth control again, and until it works use condoms...my mind just keeps building it up to scare me.
thanks for listening girls. i need to call my dr and get in to start some anxiety meds or something.
~leslie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Sat, 02-05-2005 - 2:57pm

(((((Leslie))))), there's absolutely nothing silly about your fears.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Sat, 02-05-2005 - 3:51pm
thanks for listening. i'm very frustrated with dh today. he started working on replacing a door on this old house yesterday. he thought it'd take a few hours. he started at DS's nap time yesterday, and i had to go to the dr which took a long time and i left DS here with him. so DS never got a nap, and was fed a ton of sugar too. by the time i got home, he was a wreck and i got to deal with it. then today, i insisted he take a nap and dh stop working on the door (oh no, he couldn't finish yesterday when he had all day, instead had to wait till today). he stopped for 45 mintues - 45 MINUTES! omg. so DS is laying there in bed tossing around now that DH is back to drilling and pounding away. not to mention, during that 45 mintues, he made plenty of noise in the kitchen fixing himself pizza and who knows what else. i asked him to stop please so DS and i could get a little rest, but he won't and went off on me while on the phone with someone (probably my BIL). how rude! i swear, one minute he's so nice and begging me to have sex (which he knows i can't, so he just bothers me about it anyway), the next he's moody and taking it out on me. i know i haven't been well health-wise, but it isn't my fault. he is mad at ME because he *never gets anything done* around here! that is laughable, except i'm so angry i can't laugh about it right now. ;)
definitely am scared to have sex with this pain and this irrational fear of getting pg and losing the baby. i know i am probably not even ovulating again yet, i haven't had a period either, but i still fear going through that again. (and sorry if TMI, but i think condoms kinda hurt, but i know i won't get him to wait another month till bc pills kick in)
anyway, baby is upset, off i go...
~leslie