just need alittle advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
just need alittle advice
5
Mon, 02-07-2005 - 9:45pm
Well here's my story...I'm a 24 yr old wife and mother of the most wonderful little boy in the world..but that's about it...never finished high school, never got to really enjoy anything...i dont work,all i do is stay home,clean cook and play with my son...most of you are probaly wondering why would i be depressed,it sounds like a normal house wife thing..not for me...I am so tired of not being able to buy anything for my son or my husband..im tired of feeling no good..while everyone gets to work and go to fancy places and have a nice home.i have to live with my mother-in-law and ask my parents to help me.What bothers me the most is that im scared that in the future my son is gonna see that i didnt get to do nothing with my life and not be proud cuz what have i done thats so good..my husband is great ..he always tells me that im wonderful and not to worry that things will get better but i cant..i think the one good thing i did in my life is make a beautiful child and thats what keeps me going..maybe theres really no reason to be sad but it hurts to see that i dont have anything going for me..it hurts not to be able to go and take my son to the zoo or anywhere cuz the bills have to be paid and theres no money...i guess thats the real world huh...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Mon, 02-07-2005 - 10:52pm

(((((Princess))))), the first thing I would advise is to look into programs to complete your high school education.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 6:28am

hey,

i think lady irish is right. you should contact ur local education office and see whats out there. u have every right to get good things and take ur boy to the zoo. it's not where we come from thats important it's where we're going. do the best you can, try and find a way to get to your goal. a lot of single mums out there do so:)

Avatar for wrgrossman
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:09am
here are some things that may help you not to feel so alone. i never finished high school. i did get a GED, and eventually go to cosmotology school, and later real estate school. you can do this. you can learn a skill, maybe you won't have a high paying glamorous career right away, but you can get on the track. also, i used to be a house wife, so i understand wanting to get things for your kids and not being able to. now let me offer a difforent perspective, and i will first tell you where i am comeing from. i have always wanted to be a house wife. ever since i can remember.not that i was donna reed when i was one, like i was in my dreams.i am very old fasioned. i know my veiw is not popular, but i believe that raising your children, the future of humanity is the single most important job in the world. don't sell yourself short. you have a job, a tough one, and i can tell you are a wonderful loveing mother. as far as not haveing money, i understand, i nearly lost my house this year. i have stood in the grocery line trying to decide between penut butter and milk because there simply wasn't enough for both. but your kids won't remember that so much as they will the time you spend with them, reading a story with you, makeing cookies with you, coloring togeather, theese are just as important to them as the zoo. my mother was a stay at home mom most of my life. i do not see her as a failier. i see her as ahero. someone to aspire to be like. makeing sure we were raised right , that we knew she loved us was more important to her than money. she went without things, alot of things, that she could of had if she had chosen to work, but we werew more important to her. when i was a kid , it sometimes bothered me that we didn't have as much as some of the others. but i would not have traded the afternoon walks with my mom to all the designer jeans and vacations in the world. your kids will not be disapoined in you, they will not see you as a failier. see you may feel like you are, but you aren't failing them, and that is what matters. go on and better yourself if you want to . i can respect that, but don't feel like you should be ashamed. you have already acomplished something great. something more valuable than all the degrees in the world. you are a good mother. working or not. prayers and love, god bless,
BECKY
PS. if you want some outings with your family, look for things that are free in the community. our library has some great programs. also the schools churches, and volenteer fire departments also have alot of low cost or free activities. you can see plays, go to fairs, climb fire trucks, see musical preformances, even get free dvds at the library, and check your park program to . ours takes all the kids swimming and hikeing at the state park in the summer for about a dollar per kid, and they are always looking for volenteers. also, at the summer arts and crafts festival here we have a petting zoo, not the zoo i know, but fun, and the kids love the animals even if they aren't exotic. we live in a really small town, so i take the kids for walks to the farm down the road. the farmer dosen't mind, the kids love the animals[especially feeding the goats and calves with those giant baby bottles} and they even learn something. any way just some sugestions.please respond. i would like to know if anyof this helped you at all.

 


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Avatar for svetlana1833
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 11:00am

You are still young and it's never too late to go to school! And nowadays there are a lot of courses you can take online or by correspondence. There are also scholarships available for non-traditional students.

Not only that, but there are several legitimate work-at-home opportunities you might be able to take advantage of. There are a lot of possibilities out there! Take some time to research and find the one that's right for you. You can do it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
Wed, 02-09-2005 - 4:06pm
Princess,
I just wanted to let you know that understand how you feel. I was a single mother living withn my parents for 3 years untill I met my fiancee. I didn't graduate from highschool, I couldn't drive and I lived in a small town where there was really nothing within walking distance. My daughter's father didn't pay support, so I used all of the little money I could make playing piano at weddings and church services to buy her diapers and babyfood. While my family loved and supported me, I still felt like such a burden. I think the first step for me came when I got my GED when my daughter was 6 months. Then, I got my drivers license a year later. almost two years after that I met my fiance and he helped me get into a community collgeg, and find a job working with children with disabilities. I still struggle, I am going to see a doctor this week for help with depression, but I now have a little more self esteem, and trust me, we can all use as much as we can get! I have only been lurking around here for a week, but everyone is very supportive and thoughtful. Good luck!
-Rachel
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