Bad Day

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Bad Day
4
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 8:28pm
More teachers were cut today along with one of the school nurses and a director of PSR took a huge pay cut. I feel guitly because I am upset and I wasn't even planning to go back anyway, and some of these people need the job and I really don't. Yes---I am still upset because they are just throwing the music program that I have worked so hard on away. I am feeling very suicidal and have taken friday off with the intention of getting things in order. I did see my pdoc tonight ---but my therapist had to cancel due to her own health. They are talking about freezing rain for tomorrow so I am already worrying about it. I have no choice---if we have school I have to go. It's Ash Wednesday. I've got to take care of mass. Then I would like to come home and just froget everything.
Had enough whining? Debbie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: flute54
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:25pm

Debbie, I'm so sorry about how things are going at school...that sounds like it must be hard on everyone, including you...there's no need to feel guilty! It's completely understandable for you to be upset when it seems like they're just throwing your program away. Even so, think of all the students you've taught over the years and how you've instilled your love of music in them...that will never be thrown away.

Please, please talk to your pdoc about how bad you're feeling if you haven't already...it's so important that you're open with him. I'm worried about you...when you say you're taking Friday off to "get things in order," is that in relation to your suicidal thoughts? If so, it's even more important that you talk to your pdoc and/or therapist, post here for support, do whatever it takes to make it through. We need you here, your children need you, your students (past and present) need you...you're an important part of so many people's lives, and you will continue to be even if your job changes.

Call me if you'd like to...please hang in there...you'll be in my thoughts this week.

Rose

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
In reply to: flute54
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 10:15pm
please don't be upset over this!!!! listen, my mom is an art teacher- which like music is thought by the administration to be "disposable" and known by those who love it as something far more special than a history class. they have threatned her job during cutbacks- and even let her program go once (then months later changed their minds). if you are anything like my mom- and i can tell how much of a caring person you are just from your posts- then you have probably touched so many lives through your work. any one of those is worth all of the work you have done. you know what a wonderful program you have created- and how many students have benefitted- don't let anyone take that away from you! as for the others, they will be fine- some of my moms co-workers that were cut ended up with much better jobs, and others with lives that made them happier. feel proud of what you have done, not what they are taking away- because no one can take away what you have done. i was a student who was touched by kind words from a few teachers that always stuck with me- two were music teachers- they believed in me and made me feel like i was good enough and could do anything. they had no idea how much their time and care had meant to me. please be proud of yourself, not down on yourself! and hey- you never know- maybe you were one of my teachers :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
In reply to: flute54
Wed, 02-09-2005 - 4:56am

Debbie: I say to HECK with it being Ash Wednesday and the school relying on you to be there for the music program, take care of YOU first, call you doctor, and I am really starting to think you need to go into the hospital, consider it debbie time, go in, chill out, you won't have to go to work, or pick up after the 2 males at home, go in, and take some time off for you, PLEASE do that for yourself.

I am sending you prayer and hugs, please hang in there, we ALL need you so very badly. Love, Josie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: flute54
Wed, 02-09-2005 - 9:26am
Rose, Yes---I am getting things in order due to my inability to handle things anymore. Even things like driving. I ended up calling off today. A little ice and snow scared me too much to drive. I will probably call my therapist later and see if I can get in later today. Debbie