Divulging my most personal secret :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Divulging my most personal secret :(
5
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 10:25pm

I posted this in the depression group because I suspect most people will say depression is my problem.

First off, I have NEVER shared this with anyone and this is really hard, but I realize I have to do something about my problem. I can assure you I'm not a troll, I've just always been to embarrassed to talk about this.

I don't take care of myself or my surroundings like a normal person does. I only bath/shower every few weeks. My dental hygiene is poor. I don't keep my house clean.

My concern now is I'm watching my daughter grow up just like me and I want to change it for her before it's too late. My mother never pushed the bath/dental/clean house issue with me, so I've never known any better.

I don't consider myself depressed. I've just been lazy for literally as long as I can remember.

I'm really hoping to get some feedback from people on their ideas of how (at age 40)I can find a desire to keep my body and home clean.

There was a time when I first married that I found it in myself to bath and keep a halfway decent home.....but it didn't last long.

Thanks for listening........

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Wed, 02-09-2005 - 7:38am

Hi and Welcome!


Im glad you posted and you are more then welcome to join us here.

*hugs             

Avatar for wrgrossman
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 02-09-2005 - 10:27pm

i have always been lazy to. i have also always been depressed, so it is hard to seperate the 2. i have bad weeks like this week where i manage to take a bath like once, i have been working really hard on the house issue lately, but it has been really hard. seeing as i haven't thouht of an answer for myself, i don't have one for you, but i hope it helps to know you are not alone. welcome, and god bless

Becky

 


Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Avatar for markshay
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 8:40am
Admitting that there is a problem and a desire to change is the first step. My suggestion would be to sit down and write out those things that you'd like to change/improve. Then go back and write down steps to reach those goals, then start out with one small goal every few days and just keep incorporating them into a routine. Showing your daughter how to change and the steps to go about it would be the best gift you could ever give her. Not sure if you've ever heard of flylady on the net either, she has some really great ideas on how to get things into shape. (not sure if I'm allowed to put the website here or not, if not, just look flylady up in search). You sign up for an email group and she sends you reminders and ways to declutter and how to incorporate daily routines into your schedule. You are NOT too old to change this. Hope this helps.
Sandra.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2004
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 9:33am
Easier said than done, but find ways to motivate yourself. I have a problem with depression and keeping the house clean. I have to force myself to clean it. I set a timer on the microwave and clean for 1 hour each day. I turn on my favorite music on the stereo and just do everything I can in this one hour each day to keep the house clean. When the hour is up, I let myself relax. I do this first thing in the morning so it gets done. If I keep putting it off, it just won't get done. Believe me, not everything gets done in this one hour a day but my house is at least liveable and ok if company were to stop by.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 11:51am

I have a theory that everyone with depression struggles with the messy house problem :) I have found that breaking everything into small projects makes it easier. (like just do one load of laundry today and vacuum tomorrow etc.) Also, I get rid of junk mail immediately!!!!

I don't know if you have someone that can help but my hubby does housework which helps alot. I have been resisting having a maid because I refuse to be a "princess". (my husband thinks we should do it and god knows my well off sister has had one for years.) This could be one solution but if a maid is not a financial possibility, consider having a helpmate. (ie you and your neighbor can help each other clean both of your houses!!!)

Good luck!