Can't seem to get it together

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2004
Can't seem to get it together
3
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 10:10am

I've been extremely depressed. Here lately it has gotten to the point where I just can't function. My kids have always wanted to be at their dad's. I just can't seem to keep them with me. I've been bending over backward to keep them. Now it is just to where I just do the mimimum I need to do to be able to function. I get up in the morning, get them ready for school. Then I am ashamed to admit it, I sleep the rest of the day til they get home, and I've been drinking to keep the edge off. There are many days I get up and first thing i do is get a drink. It's either that or cry. I'm actually able to function better that way.

I've been so depressed about what is going on in my life that I don't go into work much, it's hard to function there too. It's been getting bad. I don't know what to do about this. I'm just worn down with depression. I can't do anything else. I've been to therapy, on meds, nothing works.

Someone please give me some encouraging words. I need to get out of this. I need this situation to change. My kids don't want to be with me. They just aren't adjusting to going back and forth between homes. I tried everything i could to keep them with me but I'm losing them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 11:40am

(((((Jodyann))))), I'm so sorry for your situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2005
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 9:20am

Hi Jodyann. I am so sorry to hear of your problems, but drinking is not the answer. It will only mask the pain for a little while. I noticed you are an orthopedic nurse. Are you still working? If not, then your patients need you. Get yourself well for them. Go to work and get your mind off your problems. It won't be easy, but you can do it, but first you need a counselor. You took the first step by writing and expressing your feelings. I hope you get well soon. I wish you the best. I am also a nurse. Maybe you need a different antidepressant. Please find another counselor. Your kids still need you! Write anytime you need to express yourself. We care about you.

This post does not take the place of professional help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 2:27pm

Jodyann, hugs to you. I'm a recovering alcoholic and I assure you that drinking doesn't help anything get better. I personally turned to the bottle to solve my problems - I have a handicapped son and another son that died from the same disease. I didn't think I had a choice but to numb myself. Afterall, in the hospital after my son died the doc told me that if I truly felt the pain I'd have a nervous breakdown. I took that advice literally, along with all the pills they would give me washed down by booze.

I've been sober for a little more than 2 years now. When you're drinking you so can't see this, but life is sooooooo much better sober. Situations that seem totally unmanageable really are manageable. I've got wonderful friends and support in AA and NA. I've got a relationship with my higher power that helps me out of bed in the morning.

Some days are still rough, but none have been so rough that I've wanted to resort to the bottle. Please, please give some good thought to getting help. I can assure you that "normal" people don't take a drink first thing in the morning. Hang in there, Jodyann. I'm sorry that life is really kicking you right now, but it can all get better. Love, hugs and positive thoughts, Mo.

mo 7-18-10