bipolar boyfriend wears me out!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
bipolar boyfriend wears me out!
3
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 8:07pm

my ex-boyfiend seems bipolar.
He freaks out. He can yell at me for hours for days for weeks and insult me and than he changes from one day to the next to the sweetest person i have ever seen.

It is scary. To him I am one day miss perfect to him, the next day I am the whore, the next day I am miss perfect again. It freaks me out. I dont know how to handle him !

If I dont pick up the phone when he calls he would 'punish' me by vanishing or insulting me or making me problems with friends and co-workers.

I am almost scared of him. I sometimes think when I am close to him I can calm him down. But I cant. He is abusive and arbitrary.

When he gets angry people get afraid.I am worn out from him. I wish he would have never stepped into my life. I love him but I can not take this abuse.

I look forward to being happy again, but I just can not see being happy in this relationship. I can not live my normal life with him. He freaks out when I go to friends for dinner and than yells at me and yells and yells and vanishes and puts me down but he himself vanishes for days, weeks without a word.

I HAVE HAD ENOUGH
ENOUGH
ENOUGH

I know he has a mental problem.
But I can not deal with it any longer!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 9:45pm
this sounds like a lot more than just bipolar to me. my DH is manic/depressive, and what you describe is very extreme. DH is not on meds and he's not nearly as crazy like what you say, though he IS clinically diagnosed as bipolar. sometimes handling someone who is bipolar can be difficult, especially when you love them so much, but like i said what you describe is far more extreme than that!
i would RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN and make sure he doesn't stalk you. get a restraining order if you have to, and make sure you have people looking out for you (friends, family) just in case. not to scare you, but this guy sounds like bad news.
good luck.
~leslie
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2005
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 9:35am

Hi firstfemalepresident. I read your post and that is scary. On a day when he is calm and while you are in a public place, I would tell him he needs to seek counseling or it is over. If he really loves you he will go to counseling. I just noticed you wrote ex-boyfriend, but in the title it says boyfriend. Are you together? If not then you don't have to go anywhere with him and if you are tell him to seek counseling or it's over. If you are not together then don't go out with him. He is going to destroy your confidence and self-esteem. I am not a doctor, but I have been through something like this. I wish you the best. Write anytime you need to express yourself. Take care.

This post is not intended to take the place of professional help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2003
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 5:27pm
'atta girl. get OUT of that horrible relationship. you owe him nothing. And think...if he acts like the way he does now, if you happened to get married, what do you THINK he'll be like with the children? People like that are just not worth the effort if they are so horrible to you.