We R suppose to feel Happy today (trig)
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| Mon, 02-14-2005 - 9:35am |
So today is Valentines Day... and we are suppose to feel happy, in love and loved... I am sitting in front of the computer thinking of all the awful things about me. I need to tempt to get to my eye doctors appointment, but the wind is howling and I just can't get myself up and the strength to go. My son, who will be 3 shortly, keeps needing me, and I feel like I am going to go lock my self in my closet. My apt with my counselor is off tonight because he is taking his wife out of course... my hubby and I are going to the gym and my son will go to my parents and my 11 year old has a sock hop at school. Alot to think about getting done, but I cant..
What is wrong with me, my family doctor looks at me like I am a crazed maniac, or at least that is how I feel, like I feel when everyone looks at me.. its that social anxiety thing.. geez when I was drinking I really didn't care how people saw me, can't go back to that though...
Hope someone else can have a happy v day... go for dinner maybe a movie and maybe even crack a smile...
KDC

Guess what I did it today, I actually went to my eye doctor's apt and got my new glasses. Anxiety the whole time and so depressed watching others in the docs' office... but I did do it. Now, I am back at home feeling blue, my husband works for a power company and it is very windy here. so he called and is working late...we weren't doing much tonight, just going to the school gym to work out, but at least it was some time alone with him... so now I will sit here and think about all the awful things in my life.
Not to go on and on with you, but I feel very comfortable chatting with others that understand the pain we feel daily... so I hope you don't mind... just got done i'ming my mom and she had plans to take my kids out for dinner for v day so my husband and I could do something.. but then my daughter, she is 11 made other plans to go to the school dance. so I just had to tell my mom that Alyssa did not want to go with her, which really upsets her and then upsets me.. I wished I could just go in my closet right now and get away from everyone, why do I need to make this my problem...
Thanks alot for reading and helping...