Hope for the........
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 08-01-2009 - 4:03pm |
Hi. The thing is: I'm not depressed. I am seriously considering, though, the meaning of my life here on earth. I hope you will bear with me while I pour out the facts of my life.
I am currently 42 years old; separated (with no chance of reconciling) with a husband who treated me like crap for many years. I have two wonderful daughters; ages 14 and 8. Getting playdates for my younger dd is like pulling teeth. I constantly feel like I have to reinvent the wheel everyday. I invest time and effort creating or cultivating friendships, but we always have to be the ones to pull the tow to keep it going. I have trouble keeping and maintaining friendships. My kids have no cousins; I do not have a good relationship with my parents and have no extended family, save for my two sisters. All my life, men have avoided me despite my being told that I'm pretty. I am a caretaker and for some odd reason I keep getting patients who scream at me or try to use me as their maid instead of a patient helper.
I am not trying to sound like I am complaining, but when for the umpteenth time, I am alone with my younger dd on a Saturday and I wonder what my life is about, I have to question my very existence. Why am I going through this? Who do I turn to for help? I try so hard to use my resources to create a good life for my girls, but my money is precious little, I have no friends; very little extended family, what's the answer to my life? And, I just have to guess that G-d does not like me very much. Sorry for the rant. Hope I can get some clarity from any readers. Thank you.

I hear you trying to be such a wonderful mother. Unfortunately, you can't make your children be happy. You can only be happy yourself