I'm so tired
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| Mon, 08-03-2009 - 8:48pm |
I just don't know what to do anymore. I know I have depression....I take meds for it. I also have anxiety. The meds seem to help to a certain degree with the chemical part...but I am dealing a lot with outside influences and I'm just so exhausted.
I don't know whether my husband is to blame but I always feel pressure from him. And it is almost exclusively financial pressure. I had a highly stressful, 1 hour commute each way job that paid only $8 an hour. I was miserable. I was exhausted all the time. In bed by 8 at night and would sleep like 12 hours Sat and Sun. I was just physically drained. My supervisor was very abusive. And we lived in an apt complex that was just awful paying $1000 a month in rent. My husband hated it there so much I heard about it ALL the time. Plus the expensive rent made him complain to me constantly about getting a better paying job. None were around.
Well we got word that a house came up for rent for $650 which would be a big relief. Plus it is owned by family member and we plan to buy it. It's a beautiful house and we both love the location. OK problem solved with that.
Then my friend offers me a job as his office manager for is new business paying more than what I was making before. Plus he owns a barber shop where I can cut hair. I was thrilled!! It is a relief to work for him and I love it. I have a 10 min commute and I don't have to ask permission to pee anymore or get yelled at for talking! (Yes that was how my last job was.) The only thing is is the work is spotty right now bc its a new business. I go in when he needs me and work from home and once things get rolling, I will be FT. So my husband was happy with that.
Well now he's starting on his pressure kick again. I got an inheritance from my grandma that I've been using to pay bills while I'm not working FT. Well its running out and my husband is freaking out. I am working, just not 40 hours a week yet. I knew I was in for the pressure when I called him on the way home from work today and the first thing out of his mouth was "What time do you go in tomorrow?" before he even said hello. And if I am uncertain of my hours a certain week he'll get all sad and mopey.
So we had a talk and of course he's telling me I need to hurry up and be FT. I have no control over that. I told him I could get another job but I like working for my friend a lot. Plus we are not in dire straits. His problem is we don't have enough money for him to buy things he wants and travel. Well, we have food, a house, clothes, insurance, our health and cars. I think we are doing well plus we can afford day trips and buying extras here and there like books and dvds. We are doing better than most people but according to him no one else has debt, we are the only ones "struggling". I don't know what economy he's living in.
His big thing is our credit card debt. But he just bought a $500 gun and put it on his credit card last week! I NEVER make major purchases like that much less put them on a cc. Now he's talking about another major purchase when we go on a day trip in 2 weeks!!! I feel like I'm working to buy him toys. And he feels entitled to these things. I went to school to get my barber's license a year ago and couldn't work until I had a certain number of hours so he had to sell some of his guns to pay bills. Well now he feels like I owe him those guns back. What grown man needs 5 pistols, 2 rifles and a shotgun!!!! He never shot ANY of these guns ever.
I know I am not FT yet but why should I have to leave a job I love and for which I went to school to support his habit. I just am so strained and tired. I am happy with my job and house and life. But I can't enjoy it bc I am anxious and sad all the time. Then my husband tells me I seem sad all the time!!!
What do I do? I've tried everything. I let him buy these things bc he'll have a tantrum if I don't. Am I wrong to keep this job? Seriously, am I to blame?
I need advice. :)
Edited 8/3/2009 8:50 pm ET by greenwoman2009

Forgive me for saying this but what crawled up his behind and died? Does he work outside the home? Is he used to getting his own way? Spoiled?
If I had an opportunity to work for a start company let alone a friend, I would jump at it! I am glad that you did! Plus he offered you a 2nd job on top of that?! What a nice friend!
Back to DH - honestly I don't know what to say. Is the type that you can sit down with and have a heart to heart talk? Just to get it out there will relieve some of your anxiety. Would you be willing to write him a letter instead?
There are so many things that you can try but will DH respond to them is the unknown.
Sorry I haven't been back sooner.
That is really a tough position to be in. Friend was kind enough to give you these jobs but he won't give up any control.
What I would do is - sit friend down and have a face to face conversation. Tell him that he hired you to do x, y and z but he is not letting you. Ask why. Tell him those are your skills and you are there to help him out because obviously he is overwhelmed with business.
If you really can stick out, do it ONLY until you find another job.
Good luck to you!