So nervous I am sick

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2009
So nervous I am sick
5
Thu, 08-13-2009 - 1:29pm
I have a Doctor's appt tonight. I haven't been on medication in awhile and know it is going to be a life long thing from here out. I hate talking about how I am feeling etc... it's so embarrassing. So I have had high anxiety all day just thinking of it.  I so desperately need my situation to change.... but feel like I have been trying for so long I am afraid it is always going to be the rollercoaster of medications that seem to work for a bit... then I am in the weeds again. Would love a shoulder to lean on. I have been deep and dark for almost a month now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2009
Thu, 08-13-2009 - 1:37pm
Wow, I identify completely!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2009
Thu, 08-13-2009 - 1:54pm
Thank you so much! It's hard because my Doc and I were in the Air Force together, so I have a lot of respect for him. To have to sit there and rely some of the things that go through my head is just torture. He means well. I have asked him to refer me to a psychiatrist so I can have a little more insight on medication, but I think he doesn't want to give up. Funny thing is meds or not meds I never feel normal. I would LOVE and dream to feel some kind of normalcy... and not the racing thoughts etc... thing is most who know me don't know I suffer with this... because people are so uneducated about the subject they judge and think all the wrong things. I just feel so bad for my family.... my husband has been a saint and just wishes he could fix it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2009
Thu, 08-13-2009 - 4:04pm

I think the definition of "normal" is so different for everyone that there is not even a way to define it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2009
Thu, 08-13-2009 - 4:30pm
He (my doc) has said that to me... about considering it something like diabetes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2009
Thu, 08-13-2009 - 8:07pm
So sorry about your brother; that is rough.