Clutter in the mind
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Clutter in the mind
| Sat, 08-15-2009 - 8:43am |
I am interested to know if other people with depression are affected by environmental factors such as clutter in the house, and how they motivate themselves to do something about it. I have found that a messy house makes me feel worse. It also brings out my "all or nothing" thoughts because I figure that if I can't do something perfectly, there's no point in doing it. I like doing crafts but I don't allow myself to do them because I believe I have to clean my house first. Most of the time, I feel completely paralyzed and I end up sleeping too much to try to escape my thoughts. When I do occasionally clean up one room, it seems to unclutter my mind to some extent and I feel better. Has anyone else ever experienced this? It really is a problem for me.

Hi again :o)
Yes, I have the same problem. I contribute it in part to my perfectionism. Right now my office is a mess and it's hard to concentrate or do anything. The bathroom needs major cleaning and I keep avoiding it. Same with most areas of the house, and they seem to get worse as I have 3 young boys.
I totally understand the feeling of not being able to do something (like crafts, as you mentioned) because I feel the rest of the house is cluttered. It's like I am not allowed to do something fun because I am in a non-"perfect" environment, and it's very uncomfortable. Hard to describe this feeling, but I know what you mean.
When I feel incredibly overwhelmed it's hard to take action and I end up sitting and doing nothing. Or I go to sleep, like you do. The only suggestion I have is to do 1 area at a time. Decide to clean the kitchen, for example, and do the best you can do. Use your energy in that one place, and don't think about the rest of the house. When you are done, you should feel like you really accomplished something, and it will give you motivation to do other rooms. And you don't have to do it all in 1 day. If you set realistic goals, you won't be as anxious, and more inclined to do more when you feel like it. Tell yourself it is OK to wait to finish everything.
I find that if I can get the motivation to do just one room, that my depression lifts. There is an energetic difference between a cluttered and non cluttered area. Clearing the clutter clears old unneeded things and allows room for the new. It gives you room to breathe. It lifts the heaviness and releases stress.
The last thing you need now is more stress. Go easy on yourself and give yourself credit for your accomplishments, even if it is just cleaning the sink.
Yes, you describe it perfectly.
I think you have a great plan. It makes me motivated to clean my house :o)
I understand about the being able to hold a high energy job and stay organized, but not being able to clean the house. I don't think it has to do with competency but that's it's easier to let things slide when you're at home. I own a business and work from home so it's doubly difficult for me to keep everything together. I never seem to get away from work.
It's interesting when one is depressed for such a long time that it's easy to believe that you don't deserve happiness. I got so used to my mood that I felt weird if I had a bit of joy. It was a bit twisted.
I can totally relate to everyone posting about clutter. I am Bipolar, and my depression gets worse when the house is a mess, and the house gets worse when I get depressed....It's a vicious cycle.
Luckily, I am in this program through a local agency called habilitation. Basically, a worker comes out and helps me three times a week, for about two hours at a time to help me clean my house. They are trained to work with people that have a mental illness or some other kind of challenege that prevents them from cleaning and organizing.
We start small-one corner, one drawer, one pile, and try to get a section of the house clean and organized. I get to take cigarrete breaks when I get overwhelmed, and they talk me through the cleaning when I don't know where to start.....It's a godsend. Also, they give me a consistent, small set of tasks to do daily that they know I can accomplish easily, and them come in and do the bigger tasks (such as deep cleaning the bathroom) when they are there.
I really love it too because you really get to know your worker well...my latest worker had kids about my age and she gives me suggestions with my kids (I ask her, she doesnt just spout out advice to me) which I don't get from my close friends-none of them have kids....But what i want to really say is that I've learned not to beat myself up over having a messy house and make my depression worse. I have a plan to tackle daily cleaning and I no longer feel ashamed to ask for help from a friend on the days that she's not there, even if it means they just stand there and talk to me while I clean. For some reason, it's comforting to me to not be alone while I'm cleaning.
And, you guys are right, your mood lifts when you don't have to look at something that's messy or disorganized. We cleaned my kitchen counters and stove today and everything is so nice and white-and I soon as we were finished I felt a big ball of tension leaving me. I even did the dishes right after supper, which I usually leave until morning ( I know it's gross) because i feel so zapped of motivation by the end of the day.
I just wish more people understood that it can be part of an illness or a disorder when your house is messy, instead of just calling people slobs or trashy......
Thank you very much for your reply.
The program I go through is a service through goodwill industries. I was able to get on the program by referral. I think psychiatrists, case managers, and community support workers can be people who refer you to the program. The program is free to me, though I am not sure who funds it. I am not sure if it is income based or if there is a like a payment plan you can make if you don't qualify for it for free. I also heard about this local program called community cares that also does this kind of work....maybe It's in your area????
I also have made a deal with my friends, if you can't get any of these programs in your area-one week, my friend comes over and helps me clean, the next week I go help her clean her house. Maybe you can do something like that too. And I learned a trick with my ever growing laundry pile downstairs that helped me catch up. I just seperated the clothes into small, more manageable piles- one pile my sons, one mine, one my daughters, then a pile for blankets and towels. Then, I can throw a little bit in of each person's clothes (In case i get behind again and all our clothes are dirty)in each load. It's easier to see that way how many loads you have, too, and calculate how much time it's gonna take to get caught up. I am a visual learner, so this trick works for me. Hope this helps!