Frustrated with feeling this way!
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| Tue, 08-25-2009 - 4:44am |
Hi,
I haven't posted on this board for a long time. Lately I have been feeling more down. I have been off work now for almost 2 months now. As I work in the school district. So having more free time, has been one of the causes of my depressed feelings.
I have also been planning on going to Grad School. So the anxiety and stress attached to that has not helped.
Plus, I have been looking for another job in a similar field.
My bf and I have been discussing getting married. However, I am beginning to feel frustrated inside, because I am not sure when exactly we are getting engaged.
I have a great life, with great family and friends. So it really bothers me when I feel that I can't truly be happy with it. The moment I am not super busy, I slowly begin to feel empty and stressed inside. I feel as though I am continuously searching for something.
I have the best boyfriend in the world. I could not ask to spend my life with anyone better. Yet, I have noticed that I tend to be so hard on him, just like I am on myself. Overal, he has been quite understanding, and patient with me.
So far this week is starting to not be that bad. However, last week I felt really down. Last weeks depressed mood, was due to my pms. I broke down on Friday night, and had a 2 hour conversation with my bf. Talking to him about how I was feeling really helped.
I really do not like the sudden changes in my mood.I do not have anything to feel sad about.
I know that depression is a neurological disorder, and that there are valid reasons as to why I feel this way. It is just very frustrating. I always feel as though, I am trying to find some explanation for how I am feeling. When some times I know that there is really no direct cause for my feelings. Other, than a lack of serotonin etc...
Thanks for listening. I was sitting here crying while doing research. So I thought it would help to vent. Thanks again.

How are you doing?