Need to vent... very frustrated

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2009
Need to vent... very frustrated
4
Tue, 09-01-2009 - 9:03pm

I usually post under another name but had to switch names... so I'm not new here. =)

I am extremely, very, insanely upset right now. I've been laid off and searching for work for a month now. We just got married and this wasn't the best way to start the married life together - very stressful. I used to make more than him. Now I'm a bum.

And we added a new family member (dog) that has been very time-consuming, frustrating and tiring for me. She has to go in the middle of the night, then I have to get up & take her out because I'm unemployed. Fine, whatever. So I'm getting maybe 4 hrs a night, if I'm lucky. And that's in between potty runs. So I'm TIRED. I'm sure anybody who does this kind of thing - say, with an infant - is dead tired too!

I had a really long, frustrating, stupid day today - had to attend a state-run seminar that lasted 2 hours and the flourescent lights in there gave me a bad headache. By the itme I got home, my head was throbbing and I can feel a freakin migraine starting. AWESOME.

DH & I play a couple of quick games on our video game console, and I am so exhausted I can barely keep my eyes open. I tell him I need to just lie down, I don't want to play right now, and he gets annoyed with me. 20 minutes later, he wants to take the dog on a walk - which is not like, around the block. It's about a 1.5 mile loop that we do, plus we let her off the leash in a safe place to run. So this is a good hour, 1.5 mile walk. With big hills.

I tell him politely a couple of times that I really do not want to go, I'm exhausted, but he can go without me. He gets mad at me because I'm tired. I tell him just give me a little while, ok? I go to the bathroom and I am just gone - I am freaking TIRED. I'm sorry, but it happens. Plus I have Fibromyalgia, which happens to be a pain and FATIGUE syndrome. So yeah, I get exhausted from time to time! This is obviously one of those times!!! :(

So all of this happens and after the bathroom, I am like look, I really don't feel good and I just need to chill and rest for a bit. He gets raging pissed off and yells at me because I won't tell him "what's wrong" - simply put, my answer is "nothing, i am just really tired", but somehow that's not a valid answer. Honestly, there WAS nothing wrong. NOW, I'm fuming because he's insanely mad at me, started a huge fight, and is now not even speaking to me.

Can anybody tell me what the hell I did wrong here? I was nice about it until he started yelling at me and demanding that I tell him what's wrong - after the 3rd "Dude, there is NOTHING WRONG", I got a little angry. Sure, I should've simply kept calmer and repeated myself another 40 times.

My depression hasn't even been that bad lately. Yes, I'm having issues sleeping. Hello, I've got a freaking puppy in a crate at night, making noise, and I don't sleep well to begin with! So yeah I'm freakin tired! But I'm not sitting around the house crying all day.

No, I'm online searching for jobs & applying for jobs & reading articles/info about my career field and doing everything in my power to find a new job that hopefully pays somewhat near my last pay rate.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2005
Wed, 09-02-2009 - 12:27pm

Welcome to DS!


I just want to reach out and tell you that everything will be ok. Everything you are going through, I have been through. Trust me, it will get better. It may take alot of time but it will happen. Puppy will

siggy9-4-09.png siggy 9-4-09 image by suemickeym

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2009
Wed, 09-02-2009 - 12:50pm

Yep, I've tried to tell him how I'm upset by all of this - I can't be one of those people who has to depend on others to make it. I've worked since I was 16, did other stuff for money before that. I've worked my butt off to get to this place in my career and it got cut down by an egotistical loser.

I told DH about this and he just got mad and said well don't take it, stick up for yourself, call the jerk and tell him to stop or you'll sue him. I can't do that - it'd screw my reputation even more.

I know the job situation will get better, whether it's now or a year from now. Maybe I have to take a crappy $15/hr job doing whatever before I can find another job in my field, in my pay range.

I just wish I could talk to him... if I get upset or emotional explaining the stuff that I am sooo upset about, he gets mad at me and won't talk to me. If I just need to vent about something and share it with him, he gets mad if I don't pick one of his solutions to the problem immediately - even though I said look, it doesn't need to be solved, I am just upset by this.

All I really want, honestly, is to just have him come home and act happy to see me. Get excited. Show me some affection. Hug me, curl up with me while we're watching a movie or whatever. Hold my freaking hand. I just want to feel like I'm important and needed to one person in this world.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2006
Wed, 09-02-2009 - 1:03pm

Hello Kitty,


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2009
Wed, 09-02-2009 - 6:22pm

I can understand exactly what you are saying about just wanting to feel like you are important to someone. I've expressed to my husband I don't know how many times that if he could just hold me and love me and tell me that we can get through this period of depressions/anxiety TOGETHER it would make things a whole lot easier instead of constantly putting me down and getting angry with me because I let him down yet again. Sometimes I just want to scream at the top of my lungs!!!!!!!!!


Why is it that men can't just love us and support us without us telling them exactly whats wrong because even if we do they still won't understand. Besides I don't know about you but sometimes I can't tell you whats wrong because I don't even know myself!


Hang in there and keep writing because