I feel like such a loser!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2009
I feel like such a loser!
6
Thu, 09-03-2009 - 12:32pm

I am never happy!  How can that be?  I am just never happy!!  I should be happy and I should be thankful for things. 


I just feel like such a godda#n loser all the time.  I can't shake it.  I look at my friends and they all seem to have things figured out and their lives seem so GREAT!  I look at mine and I'm like.  It sucks.  It blows and I just get so sad and depressed. 


My friends have travelled and they have advanced degrees.  I haven't travelled nearly as much as them and I don't have a Master's or above and I feel so stupid. 


I honestly look at what I've done and what I have accomplished and I feel like it's all S%it!  Like I've done NOTHING!!!!!!! And then I think, you still don't have an advanced degree and you haven't travelled.  Stupid!  Piece of s^it!  That's how I feel.  We just bought a newer house in a great neighborhood, I have a pretty good job, travelled domestically alot and married to a great guy and we're trying to start a fam, but I can't shake this LOSER part. 


I really try to just say ok this is my life and i have to make myself happy and i just can't seem to do that.  I don't know what is wrong with me?!?! 


I can't stop feeling like such a huge loser. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2005
Thu, 09-03-2009 - 1:11pm

First of all, welcome to DS. Second you are lost a loser. Honestly, I think you are suffering from low self esteem. I am going to give you a link to IV's self-esteem support board. It is a great group of ladies over there and such a tremendous support:


http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhselfesteem


I think the way you do at times - longing for what others have. But you know what? It took me a long time to realize I am the one that can change that. I learned to be content with what I have.


Stop in and let us know how you are doing.


siggy9-4-09.png siggy 9-4-09 image by suemickeym

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2006
Thu, 09-03-2009 - 2:23pm
Ya know definitions of success vary among people, personally to me, "stuff" and "status" aren't that important when it comes down to it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2009
Thu, 09-03-2009 - 4:52pm
Yeesh, that's a lot of sadness. Why is it that you haven't traveled outside of the US too much and that you don't have an advanced degree such indicators of loserdome for you? I think you need to start there. Figure out why they are such benchmarks and stop telling yourself because you have a good job, a good husband and a nice house that you should be happy. None of those things are silver bullets and happiness is a holistic thing so you have to start looking toward the root of it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2009
Sat, 09-12-2009 - 3:50am

Just watch this and tell me your feedback


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnLVRQCjh8c


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2006
Sat, 09-26-2009 - 3:13pm

Hi,


I already responded to your post in the self-esteem board but here is an addendum:


Why do you feel the need to have an advanced degree and travel internationally? Is it just because all your friends have done these things?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2009
Wed, 10-14-2009 - 10:19am

It sounds like you have some cognitive distortions, but I can totally relate. From the outside it looks like I should be perfectly happy with my life, but I'm depressed anyway. Sometimes I compare myself to other people unfavorably. My last boyfriend went to an Ivy League school and I remember being jealous and feeling inferior to him. I was even jealous of his ex-girlfriend because she went to the same school. It felt real even though on some level I knew it was ridiculous.

One thing that helps me a lot is doing charity work. I not only spend time with other great people, I get a lot of self-esteem from helping others as well as the perspective that I really am fortunate. Why not check your local paper or your church announcements for volunteer opportunities? In the past I've helped clean up local streams, done weeding and planting at a community garden, and cooked food for a homeless shelter. Try it. It's not an instant fix for your issues but it will make you feel great.