Not getting over Break Up

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2007
Not getting over Break Up
7
Tue, 09-15-2009 - 1:53am

I am pretty bad off.  We broke up a month ago and I am still not over it.  It just hurts so bad.  We only dated for 6 months!!!  What is wrong with me?????


I have sent him 2 text messages since we broke up, and no response for either one.  (No calls, no emails, no other contact or stalking...no creepy stuff)   Since I feel desperation kicking in here.  I deleted his numbers from my phone.  I had my friend scribble over his numbers in my daytimer phonebook to the point of no return.  I didn't ever memorize the numbers...so problem solved.  I just don't understand how I can want someone so badly who so obviously does not want me. 


There isn't a whole lot to this story...things started out amazing...then he cooled off.  Instead of looking desperate I broke it off.


But if one more person says "Oh your too good for him" or "You can do so much better" or (this is the real kicker) "He doesn't deserve you"  I will absolutely freak out!


I am NOT too good for him!  Obviously I have never done better then him, he is a great guy. 


What if it is because he is too good for me?  I am the one who is the loser in this.  He obviously realized that.  In truth, it was the same thing with my ex-husband.  No doubt he is an a$$...but he settled with me.  I was NOT what he wanted. 


I could start a list of all the reasons why I am a loser, those things that made C. cool off towards me.  But I don't even have the energy to do it.


I just had the most wonderful weekend too!  I went to the race track...spent time with my friends--had a blast.  But on my way home Saturday night...I just started crying.  It was like...being happy for the first time, only made me crash harder.  Is that weird???

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2009
Tue, 09-15-2009 - 9:17am
Hi.. I am truly sorry that you're hurting so

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2009
Wed, 09-23-2009 - 9:39pm
I understand you completely! First of all, it may sound weird, but there is nothing wrong with you. But there is nothing wrong with the guys necessarily either. I agree with your opinion of how annoying the "he doesn't deserve you" comments are. I just recently found of that the best friend I'm devoted to doesn't even like me in the slightest. But he's still a great, nice guy. But it works the other way too, you are a good person simply because you actually care. Simply because you're worrying about being a loser, shows that you much better than the actual losers. And yes, it seems sometimes that happiness just reminds you of what you think you lost, that's how i feel. But, in reality, there is nothing lost. I know you will still find a guy who will always love you, you just need to run into him one of these days. Sometimes, just keep talking to people- talk about everything and anything. Releasing your emotion helps. Whether they are your family and friends, or us people online, we all care.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2009
Thu, 09-24-2009 - 6:53am

That's tough but it happens quite a bit. There can be lots of reasons none of which have to do with you. We never know what is going on the heads of other people. Things may feel so right to you but the other person may not be telling you something. Possibly there's something specific that they're looking for that you don't quite match.

Point is, blaming yourself and or becoming depressed from low esteem is something that needs to be avoided. Time heals and though you liked him a great deal and still feel the sting, it will dissipate in time. Then begins the process of finding someone else. It's cliche I know, but there truly is someone for everyone. A simple saying yes, but very true.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2009
Fri, 09-25-2009 - 2:43pm

Six months is plenty of time to get very attached to someone, even to fall in love, so don't feel like you shouldn't

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2009
Sun, 09-27-2009 - 9:44pm
There's nobody that's better or worse than another person. Lots of people like to think that way, but everyone just wants to be accepted. Maybe you were afraid he was going to dump you, even though he didn't. You broke it off with him, now you're regretting it. Try not to make the same mistake again and be kinder to the next person.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2009
Sun, 09-27-2009 - 10:01pm
I'm really tired of hearing, "Oh, you're too good for her" too. In my case, my ex walked out after 6 years of marriage one day, after I had supported her through 4 years of a medical residency (psychiatry, of all things!) and 2 years of private practice. Just decided one day she didn't need me anymore and didn't want to negotiate for anything or talk anymore and walked out, then had the nerve to treat ME like the enemy during the divorce, as if I had done something wrong. Only recently apologized (after almost 3 years) and never made an attempt to mitigate any of the pain or lasting damage she caused. The best news I could hear about her is that she'd been hit by a truck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2009
Sun, 09-27-2009 - 11:58pm
I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I am currently 2 and a half
Girl In Search For Herself