i dont know if i'm depressed
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| Thu, 09-17-2009 - 12:57pm |
Hi, i need help because i really dont know if im depressed, im only 16 but over the last year and a half i have changed a lot.
last year in april i found out that my dad was having an affair with someone and it was hard to look after my mum and still show my dad that i loved him. My mum found this very hard and told me there real past- my dad had cheated on how 3 times in the past and this one really hurt her. Over the last year i have become more paranoid, i cry nearly everyday about everything, i dont have anyone to talk to- my boyfriend finds it hard to understand why im upset, my friends are always doing something with their friends (even my best friends arent my best friends anymore because i never see them), whenever i talk to my mum she tells me how my dad is ungrateful (she told me and my brother that he said that it was our faults that he had affairs because he couldnt cope with children) and it doesnt help.
I feel so upset constantly and once thought about dying but that made me cry even more. Im finding it really hard to cope at the moment and it seems no one cares or understands. My mum went to the doctors and found out she had chronic depression and is now on anti-depressents because of my dad but he doesnt care because he goes off to the gym every night so i try to look after my mum. But some days i get so upset i need her to look after me too...I asked her what symptoms she had and i told her that i have them to but she completely ignored me and caried on talking about how crap she feels.
I have been feeling stuck and crap for the last year and a half, literally i am loosing my family and friends. Sometimes i try not to think about feeling sad and i can make myself happy but as soon as i start to feel alone i cant make myself feel better.
I have been eating more, crying more, getting angry easily, getting headaches, feeling faint, being paranoid, my back has been aching for months now.
Its just i know what most people will say: talk to someone and get help. But i cant, my doctors is quite a while away, my dad wouldnt drop me because he is selfish and only thinks about himself, my mum wont help at all, i know my boyfriend feels like he cant help and i dont want to be a burden to him, and one of my friends isnt good at emotional stuff and the other is going through some stuff so i dont really want to talk to her. Im sorry that i have thought of everything wrong with what advice you might give to me but I just wanted to know if its just something teenagers go through or something else. i keep thinking i need someone that i can talk to and will help and be there as a best friend too.
Thankyou for reading, dont feel like you need to reply

Hi sweetie...
You're so young to be dealing with so much on your own.
I agree with keli.