My story is a long one, therefore, I will apologize from the start. I am married woman in my 40's. For 26 years, my husband and I have lived in a building owned by my mother. It is a 2 unit flat. We live upstairs and my sister, her husband and family lived in the lower unit. All was well for many years until 2006 when my father died. My sister moved in immediately with my mother as she is elderly and can't get around by herself. Her husband and adult son continue to live in our building. As soon as she moved out, everything in my family changed. My sister and her husband started pushing me and my husband out of the family. They disconnected my mother's telephone landline, forbade me to see her and started excluding us from holiday get togethers, etc. My mother was hospitalized last summer and because her physician thought she might die, the whole family was summoned to her bedside. Do you think that anybody told us? OF COURSE NOT!! Several months later, my mother called me and asked me why I had not come to the hospital when I was called. When I told her that we were never notified of this, she said that my sister and brother-in-law had told us and that we knew but refused to show up. This is just a small example to the type of manipulation that has been going on. The property in which we live was promised to be left to us upon my mother's death. When my father was alive and even after he died, my husband and I were groomed as landlords of the property. Our responsibilities included cleaning the front and back stairs, keeping up the garden and making sure that the common areas, including the basement, were kept clean. My sister's family are slobs. They never respected the building and dumped all kinds of unwanted and broken belongings in the basement area, that should have been thrown out. We would clean the stairs and they would trash them. Their 24 year son was throwing empty soda cans and bus tickets in the entry way instead of putting them in the trash can which was standing right there. When we asked my sister to tell him to throw out his stuff instead of dumping it, she screamed that it was not their responsibility to be doing this and if we saw this, we should just pick it up for him. There were so many incidents such as this, but we all continued to live there because of the low rent we are charged.
For several years, we have had arguments about just about everything and I even called Adult Protective Services on my sister and BIL because I hadn't seen or spoken to my mother in so long. This year, my BIL and I started fighting about ownership of the property. In the early part of August, he announced that he is now Power of Attorney to all of my mother's assets and that he now has the power to sell the property in which we live and pocket the money. He even called a property estimator out to the property to see how much he could get for the money. From there resulted several large arguments. Out of the blue, I was served with two Temporary Restraining Order - one filed by my BIL and the other from my mother. I counter-restrained my BIL and but I'm the only one that got slapped with a 3 year, stay away 10 feet from my family order because the judge didn't believe that he had threatened to beat me. In the court room, he kept repeating over and over again to the judge how I had been constantly bothering him and my sister for 2 whole years. The truth is that I haven't spoken to my sister since June 2007 and I have not spoken to my mother since May 2008, so they both sat there and lied about me. However, my mother's order against me was much more harsh - I need to stay 50 yards away from her and not contact her at all. In 3 years, I'm certain she'll be dead. So, that's the saddest part for me. I have been trying to mend my relationship with my mother for so, so long. We never had a great relationship as she had beaten me as a child and was very loving and protective towards my older sister. This is my entire family. I have no one else left in this world except for my husband, who has been wonderfully supportive. However, I don't know how to deal with the pain and emptiness inside me. To sit there and listen to my family lie about me is too much to bear. How am I supposed to get through this? It hurts so much.
Odkiwiblue - Wow, that is a sad story.
Thanks so much for your response.
Dear odkimiblue,
I feel your pain. I am 30 years old and never had a good relationship with my mother. She has always favored her boys over me. Having 2 younger brothers that were always treated like gold while I was treated like garbage was very hard on me. I actually quit talking to my mother for over 4 years. I just started talking to her again when my daughter was born. We still are not close. Leaving your home will be very hard on you, but, I believe it will be the best thing you ever did. As long as you lie there you sister and bil will always have something to hold over your head,and, more than likely, when your mother passes and they officially take over the property, you will probably end up being put out anyway. It is not always easy to admit that you are better off without your family, but you probably would be much better off without them. Recently, my mother came to visit me for the first time in years. Most of the time she was here was spent lecturing me on what I am doing wrong. My husband and I decided when he started working for the state, that I would become a stay at home mother to our 2 children. My mother had the nerve to tell me that I need to get off my ass and get a job. She told me how I should be raising my children, and that my house was not clean enough. I remember being pregnant for the first time ( I have 2 children from a previous marriage but they are not living with me), and her telling me that I can F**k that up like I had f**ked everything else up. Hang in there Honey, you will make it trough somehow. Keep your head held high and please don't let your sister and bil destroy your life. Like I said it may be hard but maybe you should find another place and tell them to stay out of your life. Your Husbsnd and family are more important than anyone else.
Hang-In
Kristie
Wow, I am so