How to help my daughter?
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| Mon, 09-21-2009 - 2:38pm |
Hello there
I'm hoping I can get some advice from some on the board on how to help someone get through their bout of depression. I have never had depression, so I have no idea of how it feels. My dd has it, though, and I would love to hear of any way to help her. She is a married adult and lives in the same town. She has had depression since she was a child, but it's gotten much worse as an adult. She will call me at work and at home just sobbing because she dreads going to work (she has hated almost every job she's ever had) and dealing with all the crappy people there. I think her depression skews her outlook on people and taints her relationships with them. She will get feelings of deep despair like she will never be happy or normal again. It sounds very scary to me.
She is finally seeing a therapist which has helped, but I still get the phone calls. She was supposed to take some very mild anti-depressants, but when I asked her about them last night, she said she wasn't taking them. She hates the idea of taking drugs, and I know how she feels because i hate taking pills for anything. Is there no other way to deal with depression than pharmaceuticals? When you are depressed, what things help you? What would you like to hear from your mothers? All I could think of to tell her last night was to try some chammomile tea!!
Terri

Probably the best thing you could do right now is to be there and let her know you care. I wish my mother would be there for me. My mother has the belief that I am making my problems up. I wish she would just listen and try to understand me. As for the drugs, I have suffered with depression for a very long time, I have been on several types of antidepressants, I have also tried to fight through periods of time with no help. The antidepressants are helping. Therapy may help but it will take time. I have just started therapy myself. I think the best help will come when we hit the main reason for the depression. Mine stems from a lifetime of physical, mental and emotional abuse. I was abused in more than one way for many years (childhood up until about 4 years ago and I am 31). It will probably be a long time before I get better. As far as your daughter, just try and listen and let her know you are there and love her. And please be patient it may take a long time for her to get well again.
Kristie
Hi Kristie
Thanks for your reply.
Terri
You bring up a couple of interesting points.
Terri
Tell your daughter to hang in there. It sounds as though she is a fighter to have gone through all of those things and not have totally given up. The cancer alone proves she has the will to live and the strength to fight. I wish both of you all the best. Tell her she is not alone in this world. Many people suffer from mental illness and those of us that do just need to stick together and hang in. I am sorry to hear that her husband does not support her. I have the most wonderful husband. I don't think I would be able to handle my depression without him. I have never tried a support group here. My therapists wanted me to do group therapy, but my insurance does not cover the therapist that does group. It would cost me about $60 per session, I just can not afford it. But if she can do it, it may help alot, It may let her know that she is not alone and give her some people to help support each other in their journey to get well. I really wish the best and will keep you both in my prayers. Maybe with each other's support and understanding we can all get trough this rough period in our lives. Also I wonder if her husband would be open to joining her in a therapy session and maybe even joining a support group himself to help him better understand her illness (just a thought).
Kristie