nearing bottom
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nearing bottom
| Sun, 10-25-2009 - 6:29pm |
it started 2+ years ago when I lost my children. Well, they weren't really mine, they were foster but i was going to adopt them, then the courts changed their mind and took them away forever. i've never recovered. gained lots of weight (about 60 pounds over the last 3 years). let go of my health. if it wasn't for my job, i wouldn't get up in the morning. then recently i really did it: my knees finally gave out under me - i'm going to need surgery and I'm stuck in a wheelchair, or on crutches, or (right now) in bed. why get up when it's just to drag myself around? i'm tired of sounding pathetic even to myself, of feeling sorry for myself, but it's true. work doesn't cut it as a reason to live anymore. don't get me wrong, i'm not suicidal. i just want to take a long, long nap...wake up to find out this was a bad dream and i have my kids and my health again. not gonna happen...

{{hugs}}
We just don't know what is waiting just around the corner. Keep going so you can see what will be there. :)
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