Depressed for about a year now

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2009
Depressed for about a year now
5
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 8:57pm

Hey everyone/anyone. I'm a 20 year old girl who has been suffering from depression for about a year now. I'm suppossed to be a junior in college this fall semester, however I left school last year (after my freshman year) and have not been able to return since.


I've been seeking professional help for about six months now. I'm taking Cymbalta (and thinking about switching to Wellbutrin) and I am seeing a therapist as well. Before I was pretty much paralyzed by my depression I was a really outgoing, joyful person. I worked hard at most things and enjoyed doing so. I don't know why I've been so depressed and it does not feel like I'm in control. This loss of control was something new to me last year, and I did some weird things. I got rid of a lot of my clothes. I stopped talking to my friends. I had (and still have) no will to leave the house or to try taking on school or my social life.


It is so hard to get up in the morning and even with the help of my doctors I am still not healed. I've made a few friends (some were friends of my friends that know what's going on and others I met through my college mental health organization). These two girls have told me that depression takes time to heal and that they had to go through many many months of tweaking medications and such to finally feel better.


It's so hard to get through the day. I don't have clothes and I don't feel good enough to shop so I stay in sweats mostly. I'm sometimes late for my once a week therapy appointment because I find it so hard to will myself to leave the house. I was really late today and even though my therapist and I have an amazing relationship she was really annoyed with me. Do you guys sometimes dread going to therapy (the actual action of GOING)?


:sigh: I've been reading through this forum for about a week and today felt like the day to begin posting. I wish all of you the best and I'm looking forward to hearing about other people's experiences with this dreadful illness.




Edited 11/5/2009 8:59 pm ET by thislady25
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Fri, 11-06-2009 - 11:44am

Welcome!


I don't think what you're feeling is all that unusual with depression, though I'm sorry you're feeling it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2009
Fri, 11-06-2009 - 9:47pm

Thanks for your reply...


My name is Aimee, too =).

Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007
Tue, 11-17-2009 - 3:12pm

Hi Aimee-


I am sorry to hear that your having such a rough time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2009
Tue, 11-17-2009 - 4:04pm

No, I don't dread going to therapy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Wed, 11-18-2009 - 11:44am

Hi I to have depression for a number of years since I was 33 quite awhile back, I do try to keep myself looking ok,a bit of makeup and tidy outfits,It is quite a effort some