need of support and help

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2007
need of support and help
13
Mon, 11-09-2009 - 7:45am

Trying to get out this dark place that I am in. I have suffer with depression my whole life.  But for the past three days it's been very bad.  Friday, I was the trigger that sent this all off. For my birthday,  I was suppose to spend time with a friend that totaly blew me off and would not answer my phone calls.  I can't get into this whole story but I was so hurt and devastated. To say the least, I will never talk to this person again. I thought person was good and cared about me but guess I found out the total opposite.  Things got even worst.  I then called my other friend to hang out because I couldn't be alone because I was so depressed... We went out to a local bar.  We met friends of hers that were the biggest jerks I ever met in my life...  She put in a bad situation with these guys that degrated and belittled me. I felt that I was in physical danger.  I can say it was one of the worst days in my life...  It sent me into a black hole that I am trying to get out off. 


  Besides all this,  I'm at a job that I don't like the people I work for and with... I've been there 23 years and feel that I am too old to find another job and make half way good salary. I'm trapped.. My husband is out on SS disability.  I need my job to support my household.  Making my trapped feeling about my job even worst.  My marriage is just there.. I understand that he cant go to work because of his back problems.  But I feel I have all the responsibilities on me. Today I turned 50 which makes me question my whole life.


I don't know what to do to feel better.  I do take Lexapro for my depression and Yaz for my PMS problem.. I've been taking 10mg of Lexapro  but I'm starting today taking 20mg.  Hopefully this will help.  I did a one time went to the a therapist but  didn't go back because it wasn't doing anything. But now, I really feel that I need to go back to get out of this state of mind.  I'm a total mess.... tired because I was having nightmare all  night , can't sleep.  Haven't been eating much.  Just in my room, crying... I am here from some kind of  support and help to get me thru this difficult time.


 


 

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Mon, 11-09-2009 - 9:45am

I would suggest you try a new therapist.

Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007
Wed, 11-11-2009 - 8:35pm

Big hug goes out to you!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2009
Mon, 11-16-2009 - 2:08pm

I know exactly how you feel. I am a 54 year old female who feels totally depressed, alone and trapped. Please write. I would like the company and support.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Tue, 11-17-2009 - 9:43am
Welcome to the Depression Support board Zeezy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Wed, 11-18-2009 - 11:59am
Hi sorry you feel so bad today, it was my birthday on the 15 th I managed to keep smiling as my daughter and friend came and my sister and her husband, I am 64 and have been having tablets for depression since I was 33, I dont go out to work but my husband works full time still, I built my life round him and the kids, but feel redundant now there grown up, I have agraphobia and find it hard to join things,Hope your day gets better xx
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Fri, 11-20-2009 - 10:36am
HI was reading your post, you described how I feel to,I am 64 and life gets lonely for me to, please write I am new on the village ,hope you feel better,I spent most of the day doing jobs, the ones we tend to put off because there so boring,I watch the tv Loose women and Emmerdale farm,I live north yorkshire,xxxxxxxxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2009
Fri, 11-20-2009 - 9:24pm
I understand what you are going through because I am bipolar and have borderline personality disorder and I have never told anyone the whole truth about my mental illnesses because I feel so helpless with it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2009
Fri, 11-20-2009 - 9:38pm
Zeezy, please read my response to crazy lady and you will understand why I am telling you that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2009
Fri, 11-20-2009 - 10:00pm
I just discovered this site quite by accident and have responded to a couple of other people here - crazy girl and zeezy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 11:13am

Hi Deb, I'm very glad you've found us.

Pages