need of support and help

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2007
need of support and help
13
Mon, 11-09-2009 - 7:45am

Trying to get out this dark place that I am in. I have suffer with depression my whole life.  But for the past three days it's been very bad.  Friday, I was the trigger that sent this all off. For my birthday,  I was suppose to spend time with a friend that totaly blew me off and would not answer my phone calls.  I can't get into this whole story but I was so hurt and devastated. To say the least, I will never talk to this person again. I thought person was good and cared about me but guess I found out the total opposite.  Things got even worst.  I then called my other friend to hang out because I couldn't be alone because I was so depressed... We went out to a local bar.  We met friends of hers that were the biggest jerks I ever met in my life...  She put in a bad situation with these guys that degrated and belittled me. I felt that I was in physical danger.  I can say it was one of the worst days in my life...  It sent me into a black hole that I am trying to get out off. 


  Besides all this,  I'm at a job that I don't like the people I work for and with... I've been there 23 years and feel that I am too old to find another job and make half way good salary. I'm trapped.. My husband is out on SS disability.  I need my job to support my household.  Making my trapped feeling about my job even worst.  My marriage is just there.. I understand that he cant go to work because of his back problems.  But I feel I have all the responsibilities on me. Today I turned 50 which makes me question my whole life.


I don't know what to do to feel better.  I do take Lexapro for my depression and Yaz for my PMS problem.. I've been taking 10mg of Lexapro  but I'm starting today taking 20mg.  Hopefully this will help.  I did a one time went to the a therapist but  didn't go back because it wasn't doing anything. But now, I really feel that I need to go back to get out of this state of mind.  I'm a total mess.... tired because I was having nightmare all  night , can't sleep.  Haven't been eating much.  Just in my room, crying... I am here from some kind of  support and help to get me thru this difficult time.


 


 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2009
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 2:07pm
Hi Amy, This is Debbie. I just recieved a notice from ivillage that you responded to my posts. Actually my drs. appt wasn't all that great. She doesn't seem to get me and when I asked to make an appt to see my therapist, he said he would give me one more chance. My last appt he left before my appt even though he knew I was
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2009
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 5:46pm
Hey pull back. we are all allone when it comes to the man in the mirror. You are not alone and even when I am not alone I am lonely. It's a shame how much company
Biker Angie
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Tue, 12-01-2009 - 11:19am

Hi again, I replied in another name the other day, but am actually the community moderator for many of our Health message boards.

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