loving someone with depression

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2009
loving someone with depression
2
Wed, 11-18-2009 - 7:35pm
I am married to someone with depression. We've been married 21 years and although I think he's always suffered from depression, we really didn't realize what it was til about 2 years ago. He's never been officially diagnosed and he won't see a dr. but we've read a few books and it fits. He'll be great for a while, then he goes down over the smallest things. We've had a rough year(family issues) and so it's affected him more. What I want to know is it the right thing to do to keep telling him I love him and just be there for him even if he won't get help. We have 2 kids, 15 & 13, so I don't want to go it alone. I know that deep down he loves us, but sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. He says no one understands and I try, but I guess I can't fully understand what he's going through. Some people think I should make him get help or do something drastic, but I don't want to give ultimatums. Am I wrong? Please help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Wed, 11-18-2009 - 8:19pm

Depression takes a huge toll on the entire family.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 9:20am
Tobylady had a good idea for you (therapy for you so that you know how to handle his depression), but I also wanted to suggest that you visit our Families & Mental Illness message board.