Are things ever going to feel better

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2004
Are things ever going to feel better
5
Fri, 11-20-2009 - 2:41pm

Hey this is my first post to this message board. I found this board and wanted to post how I am feeling because there is alot of people here that feel the same way I do. I am a wife/mother of 4 children ages 8, 4, 3 and my youngest is 2 years old. I have 3 boys and a girl and I love my children so much. For the last couple of weeks I have been feeling so down and sad about everything. I was on cymbalta but I stopped taking it. I am going to the doctor's to maybe find something that can help my sadness. I seem to always be either really mad and yelling alot or really sad and wanting to cry alone. I feel so stressed out all the time, but I know who doesn't have stress right? I get upset when my husband says that being a stay at home mom is easy and I should stop complaining. My husband only works 3 days a week he is an RN, so he is home to help out with the kids and cleaning. I do get help but I feel like I am doing things for everyone else and nothing for me right now. I look in the mirror when I wake up and the morning and think geezzz god must really hate me to have made me look like this. I see a 32 year old woman that is stupid, worthless, ugly and not worth the air I breath. I feel like I am aging so much and I hate everything about myself. As I sit here and write this I am crying because I feel so crappy all the time. Can anyone relate? I thought my medication for depression was supposed to help with my sadness but the cymbalta helped me get out of bed and I seemed to have more energy but at the same time I was still really really emotional about everything and very sensitive. Another thing is I have been without my period for 2 months now and I am not pregnant or underweight. I am overweight and I wonder is this can be a cause of my missed periods. Anyway I just needed to vent and I kind of feel better for putting how I feel in words that I typed..


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Fri, 11-20-2009 - 4:44pm

Hi there!


I'm glad you're going back to the doctor for something else to help with your symptoms of depression. Sometimes the first med you try isn't the right one for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2008
Fri, 11-20-2009 - 7:24pm

Also make sure your doctor tests you for Thyroid and if you are close to the edge on the Thyroid test results look into getting more testing. Medical research in the last few years has discovered that alot of people that are near the edge of the accepted range can benefit from thyroid meds. I was tired and depressed for years before my thyroid went over the range. Recently I was put on thyroid meds now my life is not happy all the time but I'm generally more content then I was in the past. So its helped.

Another thing to look into is classes or clubs you could join, weight watchers is a great idea. Think is there anything you've always wanted to do. I started martial arts classes which are great for self-esteem and building confidence in yourself. They're also great exercise and don't think you can't do it, a good martial arts instructor or any type of physical fitness program should take into account your weight or other physical problems and go at a slower pace.

Like the above poster said you are not ugly or worthless or whatever bad adjective you stick in there. Everyone is special and important in their own way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Fri, 11-20-2009 - 10:20pm

I agree with the others about the med and the thyroid testing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2009
Fri, 11-20-2009 - 10:33pm
You certainly have your hands full with 4 young children, honey. You may still be suffering postpartum depression.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2009
Thu, 11-26-2009 - 3:39am
It actually hurt to read what you wrote about yourself; the thought that anyone could feel that way about themselves is deeply painful. It hit home because I've felt the same about my life and yet I had to see it written to face that. Being a wife can be, at times, a full time job and yet you've mastered that with four children. It takes an amazingly strong women to do what you've been doing and you're still so young. You have so much to offer and so much left to accomplish that this is just a test. When I do feel that I'm not strong enough for what I'm facing I remember and truly believe this- God does not give us more than we can handle. I won't preach, but find that passion or that enlightening mantra that you can remember when you're facing your troubles. It's helped me move mountains, but trust me I know it won't always be that easy. As for your missed periods, I think your body is telling you just how stressed you are. Plz take care, and know that there are definately ppl in your boat. :)