How can things go so wrong?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
How can things go so wrong?
5
Tue, 11-24-2009 - 3:34pm

I just don't understand how things can go so wrong so quickly.  This afternoon I tried to take my youngest DD Christmas shopping.  Somehow between our home and the mall (25 min top) she and I are arguing and she winds up telling me she's not going to stay with us for the rest of her Thanksgiving visit.  I really don't understand why I let her hurt me the way she does.  She's the one that upset me so bad Saturday night. 


Saturday night and this afternoon both, I 've just cried uncontrollaby.  I've begged God just to take me.  I'm so tired of feeling like I'm going to break any minute.  I'm so tired of putting on the brave face and going to work and walking through life like everything's peachy. I feel so bad for my oldest DD.  She's a pyschiatric PA and she has to deal with this all the time.  Then she comes home to more crap.  If I were her, I would be on a plane back to the West Coast as soon as I could. 


I just don't get whats going on at all.  I honestly wanted to spend some fun time with my daughter.  I just don't get how it all went so wrong so quickly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Tue, 11-24-2009 - 5:53pm

I am sorry Toby.

Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007
Tue, 11-24-2009 - 6:47pm

I am so sorry your daughter has hurt you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Wed, 11-25-2009 - 7:25am

My oldest DD is 27 and she is pretty supportive.

Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007
Wed, 11-25-2009 - 12:34pm

Lia (that is your name, correct?)


Reading your post.....I am so sorry for what is going on with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 11-25-2009 - 12:44pm
Kids can be trying, Toby! It's pretty clear that your youngest dd likes to *work* you. More than likely, she knows she's getting under your skin. You have reacted & that's exactly what she wanted. I have had the same thing happen. In fact, one day on our way out the door to the mall, I asked if everyone was ready & directly asked my youngest if she was dressed the way she wanted. She took issue @ this, as if I was criticizing her choice of clothes. That was never my intent. I was asking if she was ready. OMG! We never made it to the mall. We never made it out the front door. LOL
I have learned to bite my tongue A LOT! Take a few deep breaths & if I have too, walk away. This is a mother/daughter thing. I read a great book entitled, You're Wearing That? by Deborah Tannen. It was helpful.
I hope you enjoyed your breather @ the hotel. I wish you the best of luck tomorrow! I posted some info below on surving the holiday w/all those dysfuctional families. Maybe reading through it will help too. GL & GBU! (((hugs))) jan