Having a hard time with nighttime issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2009
Having a hard time with nighttime issues
7
Thu, 11-26-2009 - 10:06pm

I'm a young dad (20 yrs) with an almost 2-year-old little boy, and a little girl due in January. I'm absolutely thrilled to be a parent and I love my kids more than anything.

That being said, my boy has recently been having trouble at night. He's been such a great sleeper until recently, but lately he wakes up screaming and is completely inconsolable. I sing to him, read to him, rock him, and he just keeps going.

I suppose it really isn't a depression issue, but here's my problem. I find myself getting so angry with him, like he's deliberately failing to do what I told him to.

I would never hit either of my kids, (we don't even spank!), but it gets so hard to be gentle and loving with him, even when I know full well it's not his fault. The whole thing just makes it even harder for him to get to sleep. It finally got so bad tonight where he was actually shaking when I picked him up to rock him back down, and I actually cried after he went to sleep because of it. I don't want my kids to ever feel like they have to be afraid of me. Maybe I'm making too much of the situation, but it's getting to be too much.

Anybody else having a similar issue that might be able to help me with this? I don't want to be angry with him, especially when absolutely none of this is his fault. I know that sometimes he's just uncomfortable, sometimes he's thirsty, and sometimes he had a bad dream, but I get to a point where it's hard to control it, and I'm genuinely afraid that I might be doing some kind of emotional damage.

Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007
Fri, 11-27-2009 - 11:28am

It sounds like your a wonderful dad!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Fri, 11-27-2009 - 2:09pm

I suspect that you are exhausted - pregnancy and a sleep deprivation will do that to body.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2009
Fri, 11-27-2009 - 2:32pm

He does have a nightlite, but more often than not, it just distracts him, and he'll never go down.


When he does talk about the nightmares, all he'll say is "scared" over and over again. He swings back and forth between calm and cuddly, and then he'll thrash and scream to get away from me. Eventually, he'll tire himself back out with his tantrum, and then he'll want to lay in his bed, and he's off to sleep, but once in a while, he'll bop himself on dressers or something and hurt himself while he's throwing his fit. It's really hard to watch when he's that upset; I feel like there's nothing I can do for him!

Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007
Fri, 11-27-2009 - 4:15pm

I would call your pediatrician as soon as possible.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2008
Fri, 11-27-2009 - 5:57pm

What you are describing is similar to what I was (and I still am) experiencing with my son. He started having what his pediatrician and I thought were night terrors. My youngest brother would have them often when he was really young. Basically, it can seem like your child is awake but really isn't and nothing you can do will wake a child having a night terror. All you can do is make sure they are in a safe place so they don't hurt themselves.

When my son started having these night terrors they would last upwards of an hour and I would sit on the couch holding him and just cry because I felt so helpless. It was horrible.

This past year he started having absent spells during the day and so he had an MRI and a 24 hour video EEG while in the hospital. It turns out his night terrors are actually seizures. He was diagnosed with rolandic epilepsy.

I would talk to your pediatrician and see what s/he might think. It could be simply nightmares or it could be night terrors. It could even be seizures. It is impossible to know. Do you have a digital camera that records video? You could record your son while he is doing this and show it to your pediatrician.

Try to remain calm during your child's night time issues. It will help him to calm down and you both will be able to go back to sleep faster.

If he is simply scared and having normal nightmares I would create a magic monster scare away potion by putting water in a spray bottle with little bit of essential oil or vinegar to give a hint of scent and then show your child by spraying the potion under the bed or in the closet, etc., that you are scaring away those monsters and create a routine of doing this every night. I would also use a nightlight. Walmart has very, very low wattage types in the shape of a moon or other fun kid shapes that light up just enough to take the fear away.

GL!

5 yr siggy
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Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 11:39am

How is your son doing?


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2009
Tue, 12-01-2009 - 10:33pm
He's still having a lot of trouble overnight.. I've got an appointment for him tomorrow with the pediatrician, so we'll see what he thinks. Thanks for asking!