Boyfriend Died

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2009
Boyfriend Died
6
Sat, 11-28-2009 - 1:39pm

My boyfriend died August 27th.  2 weeks later my cat almost died.  I owe a lot of vet bills and debt from before his death and I am unemployed.  I am looking or a job but am not having any luck.  I am so afraid of what will happen next.  I went to the doctor Wednesday and she put me on Pristiq which made my anxiety worse.  I was a mess on Thanksgiving.  The anxiety is still there but not as bad as Thursday.  I am trying to cope but all I do is worry.  I am worried about my future.  My whole life will change.  We did everything together.  I depended on him and it turned out that he was not doing so well either. 


I am sad and depressed and I am trying to cope.  Some people say I am doing well and others say I am not trying enough.  I don't feel very strong.  I am wondering what ill happen next.  There were other things that have happened like his family was nice to me at first and then mean.  I drove with my emergency brake on.  But the debt really has me worried.  I cannot afford another disaster and it will be so hard to work with all this anxiety.  I miss him but feel angry at him.  He had a heart attack and I found him.  Why didn't he tell me he wasn't feeling well. 


I just need some support which is why I am posting here.  I go to a grief support group and now I am on this antidepressant but I can't stop worrying about the future and am so afraid.  I know many of you are depressed but if you have any kind words or somehow can ease my pain and worries I would appreciate it.  Thank You.

Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007
In reply to: ciskaboom
Sat, 11-28-2009 - 2:03pm

Ciskaboom,


I am so sorry to hear about your boyfriend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
In reply to: ciskaboom
Sat, 11-28-2009 - 10:14pm

I am sending a hug and my prayers as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2009
In reply to: ciskaboom
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 1:21am
Wow, that's a lot to endure all at once. I can tell you from experience that medication is not as important as learning the proper coping skills. But you can get through this. This too shall pass. It won't be easy. But pick yourself up by the boot straps and be determined to survive no matter what. Your own mental attitude at this very moment will determine the quality of life you life tomorrow.
My heart felt prayers are with you.
Kris
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
In reply to: ciskaboom
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 5:06am

I am so sorry on your loss and everyone else gave you wonderful advice and support.


Give the med a chance to work, and continue with the grief support group.


Have you tried journaling also?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2009
In reply to: ciskaboom
Thu, 12-03-2009 - 3:05pm

Thank You everyone for your kind words and support.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
In reply to: ciskaboom
Thu, 12-03-2009 - 4:27pm

I am SO sorry for your loss, I can't begin to imagine what you're going through between grief, debt/bills, and family issues not to mention your kitty's health (((hug))).


We're glad you've found us on the board, and I want to share with you the link to our Bereavement & Healing message board as well.