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Seriously!
| Sun, 11-29-2009 - 2:11pm |
So the holiday season is upon us.... I am usually a happy go lucky person but this year has really beat the crap out of me. My husband was fired in June and we have two kids, a three yr old and a 7 month old. Thank God we don't have any real payments besides the normal bills, no credit cards, no car payments, but I can't keep supporting our household off of my income. I had plans to start school this fall, we were planning on buying a home and then he was fired. I know the circumstances weren't his fault and I'm not mad at him and I know he is looking. His resume is everywhere and there haven't been any calls! I'm getting frusterated, I've been working 5 and 6 days a week since he lost his job, I come home in the evening and I'm irritable and short tempered. He stays home with the kids and I feel bad for him but I am also at my wits end. We haven't been able to afford to get my car fixed so I have the working car all day. I'm upset because I want to buy things for my kids and my husband but at the same time I thank God that the kids are too young to really know what's going on and how hard it is. I broke down in tears one day, I took my last $20 to pay my overdraft fee at the bank and next to the branch I went to was an old fashioned candy store, my heart hurt because I couldn't go inside and just buy my son a piece of good old fashioned candy. I know it sounds crazy but just to give him a treat would feel good and I can't even do that. It's not truly a money issue I'm going through, it's everything! I know a lot of us are facing this holiday season like this and I just had to release some of my frustration. I don't want to be a grinch and now I truly know what being a wife and a mom is, WE are the whole support system for our families and I'm doing everything in my power not to break down. I'm at my parents house using their computer, I had to apply for food stamps this year, something I swore I would never do!!! I'm upset and I hurt for my husband because nobody has called him for even an interview and I know he wants to give us everything, so I never tell him I feel like this because I'm trying to keep him from getting upset and depressed. Well I feel better being able to vent and I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.....I just hope it isn't a train! Thanks you guys.

I'm sending hugs to you.