Do you feel guilty about being depressed

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-1999
Do you feel guilty about being depressed
8
Wed, 12-16-2009 - 2:47pm

Hi. New to this board but not to Ivillage.  I was looking for a board like this because I know I'm going through a bought of depression right now.


Do you feel guilty about feeling depressed?  My life is actually pretty good.  I'm married to a great guy, have two healthy kids, have a good job, a house, etc.  My family has it's issues but is OK, no abuse or addictions floating around.  So why am I depressed?


I look around and see people with worse problems than me and feel bad that I feel bad.  I certainly don't want to share my feelings because then I'll seem like a whiner, or people will try to "cheer me up" which usually makes me feel worse.


Does anyone else feel this way?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Wed, 12-16-2009 - 3:42pm

Hi, my take on it,

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2009
Wed, 12-16-2009 - 4:45pm

Yes, I feel guilty about being depressed, but I have a tendency to feel guilty about everything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2009
Wed, 12-16-2009 - 9:26pm
I would not say I feel guilty, but like Josie said, I feel ashamed. I sometimes ask myself why I just can't seem to be happy. I'm also afraid people will think I'm a drama queen if I say I have depression.
I blog all about it:
31 Million Seconds
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2009
Wed, 12-16-2009 - 11:56pm
I feel guilty because I do not get to do all the things I should be doing for my kids. I loose myself doing some other things instead of keeping the house and clothes clean. or geting up to make them breackfast and taking them to school. They are big now 16/17 but I still feel I should be doing all those things, and if I am depressed I slack
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2009
Fri, 12-18-2009 - 5:49pm

Hi. I'm new to this board as well. I have been diagnosed with depression since I was 21 and I'm 29 now. Over the years, I've found it more and more difficult to deal with the fact that I have a disabling illness, which can sometimes get in the way of me functioning normally. I don't so much feel guilty as I do angry and frustrated because I just can't live a healthy stable life without taking meds. But.. I am happy they are available and that I found the ones that works for me.

No one asks to be sick, and I highly doubt that anyone jumps for joy when they find out they are stuck with an emotional disorder... Everyone has one thing or another they'd rather not have to deal with everyday. The hardest part is accepting what we, as unique individuals, have been given in life- the good and the bad-and learning to live with it gracefully.

This is just what I have learned so far in living with my imbalance. I don't know if it helped you, as my feelings on having depression differ from yours. It's never an easy thing to deal with, that's for sure. I wish I had the answers on how to not feel guilty, mad, or any other negative way about depression, but I don't. I'm just another person trying to figure it out for myself. But it is nice to know there is support here and friendly people to talk with about it. Good Luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Sat, 12-19-2009 - 1:32pm

I don't really feel guilty, because at least one thing I took away from therapy is that I can't help how I feel. I do try to put things into perspective sometime by reminding myself that I should be thankful for x, y, z (and believe me, I am thankful). But people who say "You shouldn't be depressed; you should be happy you have . There are people who have it so much worse!" are people who don't understand depression and how it feels. I suppose whenever I encounter someone who says things like that, yeah, I do kind of feel guilty.

I also feel bad if I talk too much about my problems to other people, especially if I start crying. I don't want to make other people feel bad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2009
Sat, 12-19-2009 - 6:31pm

I feel embarassed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2009
Mon, 12-21-2009 - 1:19pm

Hi,

I'm new here, too. I liked your question and thought it thought-provoking, so thought I'd respond.

I'm pretty much in agreement with the others who've posted. I often feel a sense of guilt, but it's an ashamed-type of feeling as well in a lot of ways. I would be ashamed to admit to many people I know that I am depressed because to many it would seem I have a wonderful life - a very loving husband, a nice home, nice clothes to wear, parents who are still married, three beautiful, healthy, well-behaved, intelligent kids, no tragedies, no addictions, etc., etc. - so what right do I have to complain, right?

But depression and bipolar disorder ARE diseases/disorders not weaknesses of character. We are lucky enough to live in a time when we know enough about the human brain and body to know this to be fact and to have medications that can help with some of the symptoms. Even though we haven't gotten to the point where EVERYone knows this, it doesn't mean it isn't true. And even though I am convinced it's true, it doesn't mean I don't have days when I feel guilty for not doing more (today for instance - I haven't done anything more than post to this site and it's after 1:00 in the afternoon, and, trust me, I'm beginning to feel a bit guilty...).

But I do think that the more we know about the FACTS of the disease of depression (bipolar or any other related disease), the less guilt we will carry with us. After all, guilt will only INCREASE your level of depression; it won't help anything at all. Understanding your illness will allow you to be easier on yourself, be compassionate with yourself, be your own friend, provide yourself with the understanding that only you can give yourself. These are the only things that may help improve your depression - being harsh with yourself can only make things worse.

Take care,
Stacey

Stacey When you do something for someone else, you create meaning in your own life as well as theirs. What you give you get to keep. What you fail to give you lose forever.