Outsider in my own family

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2007
Outsider in my own family
2
Sat, 12-19-2009 - 8:16pm
I am so depressed lately.  My parents and siblings are always doing things to make me feel like I am unimportant and recently it seems they are all pulling something.  I invited my parents to something very important to me/my husband and they emailed me and said they were not traveling anymore because of finances and other reasons and couldn' t make it.  A few mo. later I found out that they went to Mexico with my brother/his wife and when I asked them about it they emailed me "we said we are not traveling much anymore" and that it's hard to pass up a free trip to mexico.  That really hurt me and I have not responded to his email yet.  What should I say??  If I did not travel to my home state where they live I would never see them and over the last several years there has been a lot of drama, usually my mom criticizing me that even though I come back and try to spend a lot of time with my nieces and nephews she always wants to poke a jab about something I didn't accomplish.  Last time she was mad that I visited my dad's sister because she hates her because of little petty things that she has made into big issues cause she thrives on gossip and drama.  On top of all this we had problems a few years back and I told them how hurt I was and they refused to apologize and since then have just done more hurtful things.  I just can't stop thinking about all the pain my parents have caused me.  Over the last seven years so many things have happened where it feels like they are going out of  their way to hurt me and make me feel like I am anything but special. I'm sure they would deny this and blame me because they are not very insightful people.   How do I stop feeling this way?  On top of all this I am dealing with chronic back pain (ten years now) and they sometimes act like they don't believe me.  Anyne that has had chronic pain knows that you cannot tell by how a person looks if they are in pain yet my own family doesn't understand this and it is so frustrating.  The first few years were very hard but now I have gotten better at accepting that there is no cure.  It seems like nothing I do can ever been enough for my family.  I should also mention that they do things that I do not get excited about (their life seems to revolve around trying to see what they can get for free or breaking the rules and then bragging about it) and they act like something is wrong with me because I don't think it's cool. 
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2009
Sat, 12-19-2009 - 9:26pm

Hi, concerned2007 - wow, it sounds like you have a lot of issues going on with your family.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Sun, 12-20-2009 - 4:52am

Hi Concerned2007: