Am I being Ridiculous

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2002
Am I being Ridiculous
4
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 11:19pm

I am really sad about not having a Christmas tree this year since my husband quit his job(holding a job has always been a problem) even he would have gotten one if I told him to but I just feel its money saved so why am I so miserable.Maybe its because its a reflection of the things in general that have made me unhappy in our marriage(fortunately we don't have kids).I however out of the goodness of my heart allowed him to buy one for his mother because who knows,shes getting older and who knows if it would be her last Christmas.I don't know,maybe I'm just selfish like I feel he should be putting us first especially to make it short we were in counseling earlier this year.Thank you for listening :-)Any thoughts?

Thank-you!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2009
Thu, 12-24-2009 - 12:24am

Hi Suzi,

I don't really know exactly what the situation is for you and your husband, but the holidays can be really tough for almost anyone. I have three children myself and while I should be happy I'm able to do anything at all for them (I've been able to scrape together some semblance of a Christmas for them somehow putting together about $65 for gifts for each of them), I'm still sad that it's not as good as it's been in years past.

I think you're being too hard on yourself if you think you're being "ridiculous." I'm guessing if a friend told you she was feeling the way you're feeling right now, you wouldn't think she was being ridiculous, but you would instead be sympathetic. Give yourself the same tenderness, the same care a friend would give to you; you needn't be so hard on yourself. It's okay to feel sad about a few things now and again, it doesn't mean we're being ridiculous, it means we're being human. I would imagine, too, that like most of us, you have days when you feel better about things than others. So today, perhaps, you're feeling badly about not having a tree (which is just a symbol of the fact that your husband doesn't have a job and you don't, therefore, have a lot to feel celebratory about this Christmas), but perhaps tomorrow, on Christmas eve, you will feel contented by the fact that you were so thoughtful of your mother-in-law and allow yourself the pride and peace that that selfless act deserves.

I wish you the best in finding some bit of joy this holiday...

Stacey

When you do something for someone else, you create meaning in your own life as well as theirs. What you give you get to keep. What you fail to give you lose forever.

Stacey When you do something for someone else, you create meaning in your own life as well as theirs. What you give you get to keep. What you fail to give you lose forever.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Thu, 12-24-2009 - 4:53am

Hi Suzi and welcome.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2009
Thu, 12-24-2009 - 9:43am

DH and I don't have kids either, which has its pros and cons (mostly pros!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2009
Thu, 12-24-2009 - 12:31pm

Hi Suzi,


I am sorry you don't have a tree.

siggy waterfall