Therapist cancelled our session today
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| Tue, 12-29-2009 - 4:42pm |
Hi, I was so ready to see my therapist today, had my journal in the car, had even written the check already, then on the way home from lunch, I get that dreaded call from the receptionist that therapist had family emergency and won't be in this week and was already not working next week. So I made the next available appointment which is January 14th.
I got so sad in the car, and said so to hubby who said he could tell that.
we get home, and within 15 minutes I am in jammies (now it isn't even 1pm by then) and on couch crying and huddled in a blanket. I had counted and I have 2 weeks and 2 days until I see her.
I thought on way home, OK: what would she say if she had been able to talk to me herself:
Stay safe, stay alive
Stay sober (for me to drink alcohol or take some sedatives/codeine is NOT a wise choice)
And feel my feelings. Don't be afraid of them.
Not sure how long I slept as some of the time I was crying, some of the time I was just awake hiding under the covers.
The sweetest thing, and it warms my heart was my husband saying before I fell asleep, "is there anything I can do, I can say?" I just say, please love me; and I hear of course he loves me.
I wake up and fix us the last of the Christmas ham dinners leftovers, write in my journal, and turn the computer on.
I do have the phone number of a back up therapist that has told me before I can call her own private home, so I know I am not "alone" the next 2 weeks and 2 days.
Just the past couple months my therapist intensified our sessions, so I have been more raw, more vulnerable than I was over the summer.
OK, enough rambling from me, going to go up and read something helpful then hubby and I will watch the news and cuddle on the couch together.
thanks for listening everyone, Josie.

Josie, I so identify with what you are feeling.
Thanks Deb, I so appreciate your understanding.
Josie,
I am so sorry she cancelled your appointment.
Thanks Heidi: and I do feel better today but I am going to allow myself to be a bum,