Why do I always feel so stupid?
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 01-01-2010 - 11:44pm |
This is my first post as I just joined IVillage.
I don't know why I always feel so stupid. It seems that no matter how I try, I "feel" stupid, even though intellectually I know that I shouldn't. I have a 22 year old daughter. She tells me that she loves me and how important I am to her, but when I talk to her, I see the eye rolls and it just drives me up the wall. She is a recovering addict, 11 months clean, and 8 months pregnant. She's single, and I'm trying to make this a positive experience even though I don't have the money or energy for an infant. I paid for her rehab last year (3 months). She hasn't worked in 2 years. The father of the baby is someone she met in rehab. He moved in with us, then he left her for a friend of hers. He just moved back in with us. Now, tell me.....I'm stupid, right? I just want the baby to at least know her father. I'm afraid that if he's not here when she's born, he won't bond, won't care and will never be in her life. My ex left when my daughter was two years old, and she's always felt abandoned by him. I don't want that for my granddaughter, but that means that I have to let all of them use me and live off of me. I feel like family, friends and co-workers who know my situation pity me and think that I am stupid. Maybe I am. I have spoiled my daughter all of her life. When I say that I am responsible for some of her actions, she assures me that she is fully responsible and made her own decisions. I guess I just think that if I had raised her differently, she wouldn't have had the opportunities to make some of the mistakes that she made. She assures me that she would have figured out a way if she really wanted to. Anyway, I think that I may be perpetuating the problem by letting him move in and supporting her. He's working, but I doubt that he will help out. I guess that he will have to pay child support, but it will be minimal. I spend most of my free time alone in my bedroom. My bed, TV and computer are here. I get lonely without contact (except at work), but at least I don't have anyone criticizing my decisions. Sometimes I feel that I need to talk to someone, but when I do, they either try to tactfully disagree with me, or I can tell that they are just biting their tongue to keep from telling me what they really think. Anyway, it feels better to just type this all out. Thanks for listening.

Why would you feel stupid because of the actions of someone else?
Welcome to the board!
Thanks for the thoughts, Deb.