Depressed and Sick of it

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2004
Depressed and Sick of it
5
Sun, 01-10-2010 - 10:00pm
Hello everyone,
I've been dealing with depression for most of my life. I am on meds and receive therapy. I just would like to "talk" with others on here who are going through the same thing that I am. I do have friends but they are too busy with their own lives - husbands and kids. I am divorced and do not have a boyfriend. I have a teenage son, but he is almost 18 and has a girlfriend and does not spend a lot of time at home anymore. So I am basically by myself when I am not at work. I've tried to go to places where I can meet new people, but of course, everything costs money and I don't have much. I joined a health club, but no one really talks to each other. So that really didn't work. I belong to a church but there really isn't any single people around my age and mostly families that go. I live in a small town so there really isn't many things around here to do where I can meet people. I'm a very friendly person, as people I work with are always saying that I'm so nice and sweet. I do not like the bar scenes either. Anyone else have the same problem as me? I know that this is a big reason that I am depressed is because I am alone. When I am at work and around a lot of people, I am usually pretty happy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 9:03am

Hello,

I understand how you feel about your social life. I'm 26, and I feel like everyone I used to know is getting married and having children, except me. I am single, and haven't even flirted with anyone in about 5 years because my depression and anxiety make it almost impossible to have normal interactions with people. Sometimes I feel so completely alone that it crushes me.

You said you receive therapy. Have you discussed how the social isolation makes you feel with your therapist? Has he/she given you any advice?

I blog all about it:
31 Million Seconds
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 9:03am

I feel almost exactly the same way, whcih is why I came to the board. =) It does help some to "vent" on here I think.

I have three quick suggestions:
1. Try another church that might have a singles bible study. We hvae a nearby church that does.
2. Check your local paper for singles gatherings that take place at a church. They are usually for divorced folks and are casual gatherings. I have marriage troubles and plan to attend should things go further south...
3. There is a site called www.meetup.com that you can search by area for fun groups to join - there's everything from book discussion clubs to yoga to wine tasting to backpacking. Almost any interest you might have, they have a group. I belong to one called the Art of Living. I'm hoping to not only meeting others, but doing some positive things in my life to improve my depression.

Hopefully one (or all!) of these things will help. I find it SO hard to make "real" friends as I'm older (45) and everyone is just too busy for me. =)

Stacey

When you do something for someone else, you create meaning in your own life as well as theirs. What you give you get to keep. What you fail to give you lose forever.

Stacey When you do something for someone else, you create meaning in your own life as well as theirs. What you give you get to keep. What you fail to give you lose forever.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2004
Tue, 01-12-2010 - 9:35pm
Thank-you for the suggestions. It's hard for me to meet new people 'cause I have social anxiety, too. But I do try and socialize more with coworkers a little. It's just hard meeting single people (particularly men). It is also hard for me to trust others. A friend of mine from work asks me to go to a bar after work sometimes. She just got divorced. But all she really likes to talk about is men who like her and everything. It gets a little tiring after awhile and makes me more depressed. What makes me happiest is to be around friends and we make each other laugh. But it's hard to always get a group of us together - usually every couple of months or so.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2009
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 9:41pm

You're very welcome. I understand social anxiety can be awfully difficult. I'm glad to hear that you have friends and do socialize a bit. I have lots of trouble with trusting people as well, so don't actually currently have any friends. I finally made myself go to a group this week and enjoyed it immensely though, so I think it's worth it if you can "make" yourself go. =)

Stacey

When you do something for someone else, you create meaning in your own life as well as theirs. What you give you get to keep. What you fail to give you lose forever.

Stacey When you do something for someone else, you create meaning in your own life as well as theirs. What you give you get to keep. What you fail to give you lose forever.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2010
Sat, 01-16-2010 - 9:42pm

Hi there,

I posted some of this for someone else too, and I think it might help you - often people don't realize that mood has an exponential amount to do with our diet, what we are putting in our body effects not only our energy levels, but the chemical hormonal processes in our brain that controls our mood and often results in depression.

Additionally, take some time to journal what are the things you loved to do as a small child that brought you great joy. Dig deep & uncover the things that return us to that place emotionally & spiritually.

Here is what I wrote her...take a look:

Okay listen up, are you taking fish oil which are EFA's & are you consuming any other healthy fats -- and no, vegetable oil, is NOTnotnot a healthy fat...hence a shelf life of years that allows it to go rancid.

Here's the deal with depression - i'm going to offer a tip as a holistic nutritionist that helps client to address energy & mood imbalance.

Fat actually sheaths every cell in your body, including your brain. When people get all caught up in this bogus media 'no fat' craze, or tend to eat the standard american diet, they are not getting enough of the health fats our body and brain needs for optimal metabolism, energy, health & mood.

So you can see a LOT of increase in mood imbalances over the last 10-20 years.

I had a client off her meds from her therapist in just 2 weeks for chronic fatigue and depression after a significant life event that overtook her simply balancing her nutrient intake & supporting her with whole foods properly, whole foods supplements & glandulars as a healthful alternative to meds.

Meds are toxic to your liver b/c it has to process the heavy metals and toxins in pharmaceuticals to clear them out of your body to keep you safe & ensure you pee them out basically, without being crass - but that is what happens. So taking meds drains your liver further from dealing with other things it needs to esp when you are stressed and down and you immune system is in a weakened state.

So here's the deal -- get on some quality EFA's, I recommend taking 2x 1,000 mg fish oils 3x.day with meals - go for a clean fish oil that is not farmed, try Nordic Naturals.

And start also by cutting out the foods that mess with your brain serotonin levels which disrupt mood, names the white devil: processed sugars & flours, aritificial sweeteners.

People perceive that they are emotionally addicted to foods, when they are not, their brain is physically addicted to them hormonally, they just don't know this. Once we clear them out of the body & replace them with the correct balance of nutrient dense whole foods, healthful balance in the body ensues!

Be well, Heather ~ xxx

---------------------------------------
Heather B. Dube' | Health & Body Mastery Mentor

Nutrition Counselor; Health & Wellness Coach; Private Trainer; Figure Competitor
CHHC, AADP, ACSM CWC, NASM CPT, NANP, NPC, BA
Founder, You & Improved Coaching
http://www.youandimprovedcoaching.com
Shape Your Body, Shape Your Life.(TM)

--------------------------------------- Heather B. Dube' | Health & Body Mastery Mentor Nutrition Counselor; Health & Wellness Coach; Private Trainer; Figure Competitor CHHC, AADP, ACSM CWC, NASM CPT, NANP, NPC, BA Founder, You & Improved Coaching http: