Hi everyone new here!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2008
Hi everyone new here!
4
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 9:27am

I'm not sure where to start. I have suffered from anxiety and depression for as long as I could remember. I had an extremely difficult childhood mother was an alcoholic and father worked late nights and I remember them always arguing. When I was 8 my father left and moved to another country, he could come to visit us once a year. I very often feel inadequate around others and "less than" I have a beautiful little girl she was born in 2005 and I very often wonder if I am good enough to be her Mom. She is so beautiful and bright and always happy.  I feel like a good Mom but sometimes I doubt myself, and need constant reassurance. I have struggled with my weight for years was not overweight as a child started in my mid twenties. I lost a ton of weight after my daughter was born and gained half of it back so I am slowly in the process of losing it yet again but I doubt myself although I am not giving up. My husband hardly ever helps in the house so I do all the housework, we live in a small apartment in a nice town but our lease is up in May and I am worried about finding a bigger and better place to live. I try not to compare myself to others but many of my friends and family own their homes have the money to go on trips etc.  I just am so sick of feeling incredibly sad. I thought of going back to school, I work p/t from home but takehome is only $200 every two weeks. I dont have a lot of friends and I am not that close to my family and that also saddens me. It is a new year and I so desperately want to make my life better and the life for my little girl. I have been on medication before xanax and it made me sleepy not sure if it helped all that much. My doctor says I need a mood stabilizer but I am not fond of taking drugs and am scared. Am happy I found this board and look forward to getting to know you all.

Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 4:16pm

Hi,

I'm so sorry you're feeling like less than a good mom. Feeling like a good mom is one of the hardest things to accomplish I'd say. I have 3 and always feel they deserve better. =)

Also, I take a mood stabilizer, and it's helped immensely, so you may want to consider that. Drugs aren't for everyone, but it might be worth a shot.

I actually don't have any friends myself, unfortunately, so I know how feelings of loneliness can worsen depression... I wonder if you couldn't possibly find a mother's group in your area to find support? They are usually held through local churches, so you might look into that. Surrounding yourself with moms like you who try so hard, but struggle still could be a really good way to get some much needed support.

Just a thought... I wish you the very best. =)

Stacey

When you do something for someone else, you create meaning in your own life as well as theirs. What you give you get to keep. What you fail to give you lose forever.

Stacey When you do something for someone else, you create meaning in your own life as well as theirs. What you give you get to keep. What you fail to give you lose forever.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 5:20pm

Welcome to the board, I am glad you found us!

siggy waterfall
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2010
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 1:22pm
Hi this is my first time i did not know there were places like this for people with bipolar
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2009
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 10:00pm

Hi,

I'm glad you decided to respond on the board. I'm so very sorry you're struggling so badly. It sounds like you are under an extreme amount of pressure and are close to being at risk of a breakdown. Is there any possible way you can get counseling and/or medication to help? I can tell how badly you need to speak to someone by your post. If you can manage it at all, please try to see someone.

Stacey

When you do something for someone else, you create meaning in your own life as well as theirs. What you give you get to keep. What you fail to give you lose forever.

Stacey When you do something for someone else, you create meaning in your own life as well as theirs. What you give you get to keep. What you fail to give you lose forever.