Involuntary commitment
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| Sun, 01-17-2010 - 12:15pm |
Yesterday, I saw a shrink. I don't think I made a lot of sense. I was rambling, and asking her a lot of questions about my insurance, and who would know I was there (basically, I don't want work/my family knowing I was there) and long story short...she asks a couple of very strange questions. Questions about how I perceive the world and other's affect on me and if I ever saw/heard things.
I answer her truthfully until the last part. I say no and shut down. She then asked about the suicidal feelings, which I downplayed by talking way too much about other, unimportant stuff about how my job is stressful and that I'm homesick, is all. She asked if I wanted to talk about medication adjustment, I said not right now, and left.
I go online...she was asking me questions you'd ask to diagnose someone as schizophrenic. I am not going back. I was nervous, I was jabbering about goodness knows what, I was paranoid about work finding out, I must have looked twice as crazy as I am. I'm looking up state laws on being committed involuntarily now. I am so afraid she'll call someone. According to my state laws I have to be seen as a danger to myself, others, and not able to take care f myself, but how is any of that proven?
I have auditory hallucinations, but they are mild. I hear voices inside things: sounds of the radiator, static, etc, as well as low voices talking when there are no other sounds. I honestly think it's not a big deal...only 3-4 times in my life have I heard a specific, clear, one voice saying anything specific, but I was quite aware this wasn't real.
I'm scared...both of being crazy and being thought of as crazy. I was going in to talk about how I was going to come out as a lesbian to my family, I left feeling even more alone and ostracized. I let me guard down, I ask someone for help, and am proven again that in the real world, this is the worst thing to ever do.
Basically I'd love any advice on what I should do from here.

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