Girlfriend is Selfish?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2010
Girlfriend is Selfish?
3
Tue, 01-26-2010 - 6:38pm
My girlfriend and i were together about 7 years we had a tough relationship at times because of money and infidelity- she cheated on me more than once. I had low paying jobs and child support to pay she had a monthly allowance of 2000 from her deceased parents. Together we paid rent at different apartments and stayed together despite the cheating, and she said every time she would stop. I know of two times she cheated. She applied for a hud house and lied about her income to get it. when she did she moved out on me and left me paying the bills. I couldn't handle them. I lost my apartment and at the same time she called me and we got back together. I've been at her Hud house saving to get my own place but lost my job and had to get a new one. Now she says she doesn't want to lose "her" hud house because im there and she told her shrink that its making her depressed and suicidal so of course her shirk told her to dump me. I need a couple of more weeks to get a couple of paychecks to even afford a room for rent. she says she loves me. shes also worried i can turn her in to hud because shes illegal in the 1st place. how do i talk sense into her and get her to help us and stop being so selfish?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2008
Wed, 01-27-2010 - 12:35pm
I'm sorry about how your gf is treating you. I would save the money you need to move and then run as fast as you can away from her. She does not sound like she can remain faithful to you and without trust in a relationship things will go downhill very quickly. You deserve someone better. I doubt there is anything you can do on your end to change the relationship. It sounds like it ended quite a while ago and you're just hanging in there. GL!
5 yr siggy
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2010
Wed, 01-27-2010 - 1:45pm

Thanks OilofAngels- I also have to confess that after she cheated on me with my best friend growing up that i physically abused her- i gave her a blackeye- so I'm no angel- I just wanted to put it out there because I'm sorry for being that way-also the cheating did and has continued to cause trust issues-We are talking it out and I have asked her to forgive the past, things i did which were abusive, or neglectful of her, and that I need to do the same. My plan is to stay with her at least until I pickup 2 checks and then find my own place. We talked and it comes down to this- I'm not supposed to stay at the HUD house bcuz of the regs, but shes not supposed to either bcuz she lied on the application. When i point that out she says I'm blackmailing her, I just need her to value me more than a 200 dollar a month apartment. I don't want to bust her, She says she has no where to go if she loses the HUD house, I really have no where to go right now except sleep in my car. It's a difficult situation, I just want to get out of it because i really don't want any part of her HUD scam, but rite now I have nowhere else to go. Thanks for your comments, it just feels great to be able to talk to someone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Wed, 01-27-2010 - 3:49pm

I'm sorry for all that you're going through, it sounds like a really difficult situation.