A relationship worth mending?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2010
A relationship worth mending?
3
Sun, 02-07-2010 - 12:35pm

He's the greatest man I've ever known. He's everything I could ever want in a husband or father for my (future) children. I am not physically attracted to him anymore. Could this be a symptom of depression? Could it be a residual effect from a decreased sex drive that is a symptom of depression? Is this a big enough problem to write off the chance at a relationship/marriage?


I codependantly ended the relationship because he "fixed" issues we had for years. I could no longer control the situation and subconsciously found that reason to end the relationship. With that resolved and headed in a healthy direction, and with both of us working toward setting healthier boundaries, is the lack of physical desire something that can be mended, or is it worth mending?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2009
Sun, 02-07-2010 - 2:25pm

I love your screen name, you will be happy :)


Ok, my "opinion" I think you should give the guy a chance!

siggy waterfall
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2010
Sun, 02-07-2010 - 2:31pm
I only hope he will give me another chance. I am researching and learning about individuation and struggling to "grow-up" in a healthy way, I came from a dysfunctional family and learned responses based on how they reacted to situations. I know I am on the right path but at this point I am so afraid of failure. I am trying not to set myself up and sabotage something that could be great but I fear that I will fail him (he deserves better/more) or I will resort to historical behavioral reactions and our relationship's history will repeat itself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2009
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 8:04pm

you say

He's the greatest man I've ever known. He's everything I could ever want in a husband or father for my (future) children.

That is A LOT to forgo for the sake of sex, I believe. Your childrens' happiness should come first, Dr.Laura would say. Once they're grown up and 18, you can find a sexy stud to be with. But he will never replace their father. Divorcing their father right now will always create issues for the rest of their lives, I don't are what anyone else says about it.

Forgive me again but over sex??

And yes, depression as many of us know CAN deplete every raw human emotion in us leaving us emotionless, numb and sexually indifferent.