I don't know where to go or what to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2010
I don't know where to go or what to do
2
Fri, 02-12-2010 - 4:49pm
I have been married - well, it will be 22yrs in a couple of weeks.  During this time, I feel like I have lost my heart and soul.  There were things that bothered me, but my husband convinced me that it was something lacking in me the reason I felt that way.  I found out that it was because he lied to me about everything (I mean everything). After all these years, I have no friends, no job, no quality of life.  I am very depressed, I have fibromyalgia, and I continue to have nightmares that my children will die (my first daughter died in infancy).  My husband has been emotionally abusive, being addicted to women because, he says, it's an addiction where no one gets hurt.  He has tried to divorce me twice - this last time, I took him back to save my house....then he got fired and I lost my house anyway.  I have realized that he loves me because I am the only one who has stood by him all these years (not even his own family did), but I know he would not be with me if his last girlfriend had wanted him.  If I were a dog, I would have been euthanized long ago, but since I am human, I must continue to suffer.  I should have never had children with him.  I love them dearly - they are my reason for living-, but they will suffer as well.  I can't afford to leave him, the Vet Admin is still screwing up my care and compensation....and I don't know how to anyway.  There isn't enough left of me to do anything, much less something that takes that much strength.  I can only pray God will have mercy on me and end my suffering soon!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2009
Fri, 02-12-2010 - 6:13pm

((((LOTS OF HUGS)))) I am glad you found our board and I am so sorry for all that is going on.


If you are having any sucidial thoughts, PLEASE, call 911, go to the ER, or call:

siggy waterfall
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2009
Sat, 02-13-2010 - 11:44am

Hi, bensmom2010 - first of all, if your husband