What do I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2010
What do I do?
3
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 9:53pm

Hi,


I have been married for 10 years to a man who has a lot of emotional problems. His tantrums started after the birth of our first child (we have two children) and have continued for years. He is either stressed, or angry, when he is happy, he is really happy. But those moments are brief.


He went on Wellbutrin 6 months ago and that gave him fits of rage so I begged him to get off and he did. His rage has continued though and last month he hit me repeatedly in the arm when I upset him about something silly. My arm was covered from elbow to shoulder in bruises. He promised to get help and has been looking for a therapist. A few days ago, he had too much to drink and went into a fit of rage. He beat me repeatedly on the side of my head while i was driving a car. I finally stopped somewhere safe and he pushed me out of the car and drove off. These are two incidents out of 4 over the past 2 months and the first time he ever got physical.


He went home and packed his bags for a business trip and left immediately. I changed the alarm code and lay in bed praying he would not come home and kill me. (He told me was going to as he pummeled me).


Now I am here alone with my kids and wondering what to do. I told him he could not come back until he got help and was medicated and the meds were working.


I think I have been suffering from depression from years of living with a person who is unpredictable and moody and trying to cover it up and make everything look rosy from the outside. On top of this, my mother has been critically ill for 6 years and in the hospital for the past 2 months, which is depressing on its own.


I don't feel like a battered wife since it has only happened a few times. Am I making excuses for him? Do I need to leave him and move on? I truly love him and want my children to have a father.


Sorry this is so long but I feel very hopeless and do not know what to do. Thanks for any input anyone can give.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2009
Tue, 02-16-2010 - 8:09am

If my husband went into a rage and punched me in the head repeatedly, I would call the police.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2010
Tue, 02-16-2010 - 8:19am

Thanks. I told him he couldn't come back until he had started therapy and had medication. He promised me he would do anything and everything to get better. I am still afraid of him - he said he lost control and who's to say it won't happen again.


I just feel very hopeless. This is not the life

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2009
Tue, 02-16-2010 - 5:32pm

I am so sorry what you have went through.

siggy waterfall