Inlaws Deciding Name...
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| Fri, 10-29-2004 - 9:54am |
What do you think of this? Be as honest as you want. You won't hurt my feelings. I've posted this on another board about a year ago, but since DH and I are starting to TTC in 2005 (actually, there is a chance that I might be pregnant right now), I've started thinking about it more and more.
During a visist to the inlaws while we were planning our wedding, my SIL and DH were having a conversation about how she wanted to name one of her three boys Christopher, but that she was *saving* it for DH. I was wondering what the heck DH was *saving* it for, and then I heard the story.
My DH isn't supposed to be here. His parents had my SIL first, and then my MIL had a still-born that she named Christopher. Then, later, my DH was born and they named him something else.
So, now, my DH wants to honor his mother and the still-born baby by naming his son Christopher. There are a few reasons why I don't like the name, personally:
1.) First of all, the name is derived from a still-born baby. Not to be superstitious or anything, but I don't like that idea at all--it gives me the creeps. I'd rather name my child after someone or something that has thrived.
2.) Our last name is hyphenated and very long, and having a long first name like that would be too much, IMO.
3.) I have no positive associations with people named Christopher in the past.
3.) Frankly, I simply just don't like the name. It has to many blended consonants: "chr" "st" and "ph", and I may be crazy, but most names don't do this.
4.) It is way too common.
5.) It is tied to a certain religious faith (it means "Christ-bearer"), and while I am Christian, my husband is not and we have agreed to raise our children to believe in God but to seek out their own path to spirituality because it really is a mature decision to make. I don't know why my husband, being agnostic, would want to name his child something so strongly tied to one religion.
6.) My inlaws aren't close to me, and never will be. They live far away. They rarely to come visit us, although they travel throughout the year to other places, but we are always the ones going to visit them. While I am comfortable with the distnace, I feel that they really aren't going to be helping us out or being a real significant part of the child's life once it is born--so they really shouldn't have a say in this area at all. At the most, I feel as if they are free to express an *opinion* but as far the final say goes--I say it's 50% my and 50% my husband's final *decision*.
Well, as always, I am putting the cart before the horse, but I do see this as a real issue that I may have to face soon. Any advice? Opinions? Vents of your own?

The only advice I can give is to tell your DH how you feel and talk to him about it. But don't let it turn into an argument. I don't know your DH, but I've found that my DF is pretty easy going about names. When I first mention a name he usually says he doesn't like it and throws out a suggestion for a boring common name. But the more I mention the names I like, they grow on him, and eventually he starts saying he likes them! Maybe this will work on your DH too. When I first started thinking about names I was determined to pass on some special family names, but once I found that many people didn't have a positive responce to the names I changed my mind. Maybe your DH will too. And what about using Christopher as a middle name?
Christie
#1 EDD 6/29/05
I do feel that naming the baby should be something special between your husband and you. Express your concerns to your husband about the name and go from there. If you are like any other woman, the name will change about 500 times before the baby gets here anyway. :). and who knows, it could be a girl.... best wishes ~ Tam
Edited 10/29/2004 4:44 pm ET ET by gretchynb
Kelly mom to Christopher Rocco, Andrew Nicolas, and Emily Elizabeth
Hey Ladies,
Wow! Thanks for the responses and the support. At first, I felt like I was being selfish (funny how just about any decision that would logically belong to you and your husband